Hell In A Cell 2012

The Goldberg Phenomenon is eerily similar to the rise of Ryback

This PPV has been thrown into disarray because of the injury to Cena’s elbow. This has meant that Ryback has been shoved into the spotlight before I think WWE was ready. It also throws a spanner in the works for their plans for Rock/Cena/Punk at the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania. All that aside, I just hope that CM Punk loses. I know I say this every PPV but the time is now to take the title off Punk. The attempt to make him into a heal isn't working because he still gets more cheers than Cena despite the use of Paul Heyman. Unfortunately, I only see this ending with interference by someone (I don’t know... may be another former Heyman associate like Lesnar) that ends up costing Ryback the title. The other main event of Show and Sheamus will be plodding and not very entertaining because these two big guys aren't really a good match for each other. That being said, it is better than having another bloody title shot by Del Rio. The fact that WWE programming has been so boring of late that I am barely aware of the other matches on the card is testament to the poor state of WWE but Orton/Del Rio could be okay.

Opening video package hinting at the rumor that only Punk/Ryback will be in the cell with Sheamus/Show being a regular match and this is confirmed by Cole’s comments to start the broadcast. It seems the Viper and ADR will start the show.

Randy Orton vs Alberto Del Rio

Rodriguez has an extra long dellllllllllllllll Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooooooooooooooo for the fans. Brief rundown of the feud between the two men including the nice looking RKO on the announce table. Orton looks contemplative as he makes his way down to the ring, maybe still smarting from being off the card at the last PPV. JR talks about Orton being naked which is creepy

Orton starts off aggressively and takes it to the outside. He bounces ADR off the announce table and the ring post. Orton gets caught on the way back into the ring and ADR goes to work on the injured arm. ADR uses various holds to punish the arm, including a new one where he hangs off the ropes. ADR attempts to RKO Orton but is blocked. ADR then escapes from an RKO of his own off a back breaker. ADR then fails with a top rope move which looked quite botched. Orton refuses to tap to a cross arm breaker and catches ADR with an RKO off an attempted inziguri.

Winner: Randy Orton

This was a good match that had an expected ending. Orton needed a good win on PPV to kick start his return from injury/suspension and ADR is used to losing the matches that count. A few botches it seems but the ending was well done. I can see them going at it again and it being just as entertaining.

Michael Cole says something about John Cena, Vickie, Dolph, AJ Lee and Twitter.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Team Hell No vs The Rhode Scholars

The match starts with solid tag team action as the challengers initially working over Kane’s knee in their corner. Rhodes and Sandow look slick with some good quick tags. DBry tags in and rests back control. He lands a great suicide dive on Rhodes and Sandow on the outside but a distraction allows Sandow to regain control. They work over the shoulder but DBry gets the hot tag to Kane. A back body drop and a top line choke slam later and it should be all over. However, DBry tags himself back in and lands the Benoit head butt and once again it should be all over. Kane breaks up his own pin and the two fight in the ring. The Rhodes Scholar interfere and get thrown out of the ring for their pleasure. DBry accidentally hits Kane with his knees and Cody uses the distraction to hit the cross Rhodes. Kane breaks up the pin and then gets disqualified after not letting loose on both the Rhodes Scholars.

Winner by DQ: The Rhode Scholars

Kane choke slams Sandow as DBry looks on in disbelief.

The rejuvenation of the tag title division is in good hands with matches like this. The champions found a way to win and the Rhode Scholars looked strong despite losing. A few more teams like this will help lift this division back to its former glory.

Miz cuts a stupid sounding promo about doomsday and Kofi holding the intercontinental title.

Intercontinental Championship: Kofi Kingston vs The Miz

Miz starts off strongly and takes control on the outside of the ring. Then Miz uses the hair to retain control inside the ring. I love it when they start talking about how a rivalry has awoken the anger and intensity in Kofi because I hear it every year: against Orton, Dolph, the Miz, Jericho etc. The only problem is they never follow through on the momentum he builds and he just slides back down the mid card. They did the same thing with Shelton Benjamin and after enough years they just got rid of him. Kofi counters another running knee and is able to land a couple of top rope moves. Miz reverses the SOS into a neck breaker and Kofi reverses it into an SOS for a 2 count. Miz lands a nasty looking knee breaker on the top rope and he continues to attack the knee as he exposes the injured knee. Kofi lands some shots from the corner but gets toppled off the top rope for his trouble. Miz puts on a half Boston crab in the middle of the ring but Kofi rolls it into an inside cradle. Big DDT on Kofi gets a close 2. Skull crushing finale reversed into a roll up. Kofi misses the trouble in paradise and Miz attempts another skull crushing finale. Miz is kicked to the outside and Kofi catches him with the trouble in the paradise on the way back in.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

This was an entertaining and fast paced match. The Miz looked good despite being on the wrong end of the result. Now Kofi is talking about his wild cat as he thanks the Miz – apparently a shout out to HBK. Miz seems to be back in form and hopefully they have a nice program that leads to bigger things for Kofi.

Vegan candy and Halloween jokes between the tag team champions. I am the tag team champions!

The United States Championship: Antonio Cesaro vs Justin Gabriel

Cesaro minus Oksana takes control early with some great chain wrestling. Cole talks about Gabriel going surfing as he is knocked off the top rope by Cesaro. Cesaro continues to ground and pound Gabriel with gut wrenches and submission holds. Gabriel is unable to launch any offence and the little offence he hits is quickly subdued. JBL and Cole argue about how educated the WWE universe is. Top rope springboard moonsault gets a 2 count for Gabriel. We want Ryder chants break out as the crowd snooze through this match. Gabriel hits a nice looking DDT and also gets a 2 count. Gabriel rolls through an attempted 450 splash and lands another DDT for a 2 count. Cesaro lands a European upper cut as Gabriel attempts  a cross body on the outside. Neutralizer on Gabriel for the win.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro looked good during this match but the crowd were just not into it. This doesn't look good for Cesaro as he clearly can wrestle but without the crowd he isn't very marketable.

Ryback promo video: he’s hungry for Punk. Paul Heyman thanks Vickie for cancelling hell in a cell but he is mistaken apparently and is told where to go.

Random Tag Match: 619 Cara vs The Prime Time Players

Back and forth match: Titus and Darren overpowering the lucha libres with the occasional fast paced counter. Interesting interaction between Cole and JBL: JBL exasperated at Cole’s parroting of his lines. Meanwhile, JR talks about the coaching Mysterio provides to Sin Cara including how he makes him feel more comfortable in America. Maybe he can talk about how this makes HHH feel more comfortable: proving that Sin Cara is not a complete waste of time and money in WWE. Young is slow in following up a double team but uses his bulk to regain control. Delayed suplex by Titus as Rey looks on helpless. Fun fact: 619 Cara have each other’s masks on the back of their own masks. JR waxing lyrical on the merits of the abdominal stretch as a submission move. Titus trash talks a football team and Sin Cara misses a shoulder charge but prevents the tag. DDT to Titus and a hot tag to Mysterio before he unloads on Young with a DDT for a 2 count. Mysterio low bridges Titus out for Sin Cara to land a cross body. Darren is set up for the 619 and Rey wins it for 619 Cara.

Winners: 619 Cara

Sin Cara looks injured on the outside as JBL spruces the WWE medical staff. It looked like a nasty crunch on his head and neck so I wouldn't be surprised if he was out of action this week. A fun match with a good Face victory after being beaten down for most of the match. Another good example of the growing tag team division.

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs Big Show

Promo video: Brogue Kick vs the WMD. No cell at this point so it must just be a regular match. Cole calls Sheamus an all time great, a bit much for this early in his career. Sheamus is out first. Show is out next in his back hoodie. Main event introductions.

Show overpowers Sheamus early. Heavy body shots in the corners as JBL and JR basically say Sheamus has little chance of winning. Sheamus targets the knee so Show rolls to the outside. Shot of Ziggler waiting in the locker room: remember, he promised to cash in MITB after the match tonight. Sheamus is thrown to the outside after a sustained attack on Show in the corner. Show throws Sheamus into the barricade as he dominates on the outside. Show trash talks Sheamus as he keeps pounding away on him. Sheamus launched across the announce table into JR. Show drags Sheamus back to the ring and only gets a 2 count. Sheamus lands a few punches but is thrown to the outside with ease. Super Sheamus lands a few more shots but is caught in bear hug submission. JBL keeps talking about how unprepared Sheamus is to fight Show. Vader bomb on Sheamus as Show calls for the choke slam but it is reversed into a DDT. Strong kick out by Show as Sheamus is dragged head first into the ring. Sheamus takes advantages but is eventually caught with a choke slam: 2 count! Knees lead to an attempted clover leaf by Sheamus but Show takes the fight to the outside. Sheamus rams Show into the steel post and lands a double axe handle in the ring. White noise by Sheamus on Show but it only gets a 2 count. Show catches the Brogue kick and gets a WMD but Sheamus kicks out at 2! Another attempted WMD results in a brogue kick but this time Show kicks out! Sheamus attempts another brogue kick but Show side steps it into a WMD and the win!

Winner: Big Show (new world heavyweight champion)

Entertaining enough for 2 big men but the pace was too slow. Sheamus sold being beaten up well and his white noise on Show was incredible. Both men kicked out of each other’s finishers, which was good theater, and Sheamus can hold his head up high. JBL talks up the warrior Sheamus as he leaves the ring.

Booker T seems distraught at Sheamus’ condition. Teddy Long gets in Eve’s face as Ryder shows off his Halloween costume (wicked witch from Wizard of Oz). Teddy basically calls Eve a b$%#h as Santino impersonates Lady Gaga. Ron Simmons finishes off the skit with a Damn! Punk asks Vince to call off his match: no dice again.

WWE Divas Championship: Eve vs Kaitlyn vs Layla

Initially Kaitlyn and Layla team up on Eve. Eve works over an ankle submission on Kaitlyn before all 3 are in the ring. JBL pretty much buries the entire Divas division as Cole and JR go missing on commentary. He can’t even remember their names! Eve steals the pin after Kaitlyn lands her finished on Layla.

Winner: Eve

Interview with Big Show: 9 years of embarrassment is over and he dares anyone to come at him for the title. Sheamus in the medical room looking very injured.

WWE Championship: CM Punk vs Ryback (Hell in a Cell)

Promo video: the Punk championship reign meets a hungry Ryback. The cell lowers as feed me chants break out in the arena. Punk is out first with Heyman but both look reluctant. JR fun fact: Stone Cold never won a HIC match! JBL analysis: Punk’s monumental loss to Undertaker makes him prepared for this match. JBL fun fact: Tim White never refereed again after his HIC match! Goldberg chant. JR fun fact: first time winners in HIC include HBK and Batista! Main event introductions for both men.

Mixed reaction to Ryback but the feed me more chant is popular. Goldberg chant continues. Punk stalks around the outside of the ring and does his best to avoid Ryback. Ryback unleashed on Punk in the ring before tossing him to the outside. Punk tries to escape the cell but Ryback introduces him to the steel mesh (NB: very similar to Punk’s first HIC match, which he lost to Undertaker). Punk uses the fire extinguisher on Ryback thanks to a Heyman distraction and goes on the attack. Attempted chair shot meets Ryback’s boot as he tosses Punk back in the ring. Gorilla press on Punk as Ryback asks for more but misses a shot in the corner. Punk lands a top rope flying forearm and a double axe handle but is caught on his third time up. Suicide dive by Punk onto Ryback on the outside leads to a chair shot and neck breaker on Ryback. Punk takes control by avoiding Ryback as Ryback runs into the steel steps. Attempted submission by Punk is broken by brute strength as Ryback misses another shoulder charge. High running knee and clothesline by Punk followed up by the Macho Man elbow. Punk gets a kendo stick and taunts Ryback. Shots to Ryback only seem to make him stronger as Ryback regains control. Meat hook clothesline and he is about to land the shell shock when the referee low blows Ryback. Punk then rolls up Ryback and a quick count sees Punk retain the title.

Winner (by corrupt referee): CM Punk

Ryback destroys the referee and Punk in the cage. Heyman drags Punk out of the cell but Ryback isn’t finished. Punk climbs up the cage and Ryback follows him all the way up. Shell shock on top of the cage. Ryback standing upon the prone body of Punk to end the PPV.

Overall

Only 1 cell match but it was worth it. The only way for WWE out of their bind was to screw Ryback and the dodgy referee ensured that. The loss didn't make Ryback look bad and Punk’s attempts to squirm out of the match seemed justified. This means Ryback should get a rematch which might get tricky. Sheamus and Big Show wasn't awful and the end was entertaining. The tag matches were solid and help rebuild that particular vision. Overall a solid PPV but once again Punk is the champion. Honestly, I am thankful this is my last PPV for a while as the whole WWE creative unit is performing poorly at the moment. I don’t care for the titles because they have managed to make both champions seem lame.

Night of Champions 2012

The actual longest reigning WWE champion Bruno Sammartino (WWE champion from 1963-1971)

Nice intro video highlighting the Punk/Cena confrontation focusing on respect. Punk should be happy: he actually might be the main event for once in his WWE championship reign! Michael Cole begins with an empty seat and gives us the run down of the 15 minutes of Jerry Lawler nearly dying. JBL makes his way out to replace him as colour commentator looking fit and as smug as ever. A good choice by WWE and should be entertaining.

Intercontinental Championship: The Miz vs Sin Cara vs Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes (Fatal 4 Way)

Really? Really? Really? Miz takes the opportunity to have a whinge about his fatal 4 way match and give notice of his official complaint. Mysterio doesn’t think the Miz is awesome so he interrupts with his own entrance sporting a pink Lawler tribute shirt. JBL is staring on heel commentary already defending the unfair situation facing the Miz. No ablo espano, thank you Spanish commentary team.

The match starts off more like a tag match with the Americans taking on the Mexicans. Sin Cara makes some sloppy looking moves during an attempted double team by Miz/Rhodes. Cara and Mysterio face off with some slow looking luche libre style moves. The Americans take turns at beating up on the Mexicans before taking on each other. Mysterio and Cara get near falls with roll ups while JBL talks up Miz’s main event credentials. Rhodes pounces after Mysterio is taken out on the top rope by Cara. Then the Miz powerbombs Rhodes as he superplexes Rhodes off the top rope. Miz takes control until Mysterio slides out of the ring. Rhodes is beaten up on the ring furniture by Mysterio as Cara gets a 2 count after a corkscrew  elbow on the Miz. Rhodes breaks up a Mysterio pin and then beats up on Mysterio and Cara. Rhodes and Miz set up for a double 619 but only the Miz is hit. Mysterio is pulled off a certain 3 count by Rhodes who then is kicked off by Cara on the still unmoving Miz. Cara tries to put a mask on Rhodes and allows Miz to regain control. Sin Cara puts the mask on the Miz while Rhodes attacks Sin Cara. A blinded Miz then lands the skull crushing on Rhodes (unseen?) to pick up the win.

Winner: The Miz

A good match to help rebuild the Miz. JBL did a good job of building the Miz during the match and he eventually got the win. The issue with Rhodes/Miz trying to take the mask off the Mexicans is so tired it need not be repeated. However, the ending to the match was ok and should lead to a good Rhodes/Miz feud. It also builds up to the mask match at Wrestlemania.

The Prime Time players whinging about a lack of tag action and try to prove their point by doing a whistle dance. Kaitlyn has been attacked from behind! The Divas title match is off or is it?

Tag Team Championship: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs Daniel Bryan/Kane

Daniel Bryan practices anger management as the crowd welcomes him out with his Yes! chant. Kane is out next with his freaky mask as he and Bryan resolve some issues in the ring. Next out is the tag champions to Kofi Kingston’s music. JBL claims R-Truth is the one that needs treatment not Bryan. Kane and Kofi start off and take control but Kane eventually over powers Truth. Cole recounts some of the form tag champs including the Basham Brothers (minus mentions of the whip). Friendlier tags between Bryan and Kane as Bryan kicks the life out of Truth. Double team allows Kane to lock a chin lock on Truth. Bryan misses an attempted double team by Kane and the two start fighting. Crowd start chanting hug it out but slaps seem the order of the day. Bryan is now willing to hug it out: he seems very keen and Kane seems willing. They hug it out just as Truth gets back into the ring. Hot tag to Kingston as he unloads on Bryan. Boom drop as he sets Bryan up for trouble in paradise but Kane drags him out of the ring. The two start fighting again and Bryan puts on the no lock in the ring after a missed dive by Kofi. Kane tags himself back in and Kane nearly gets hit by a hurricanrana but Bryan blocks it. Bryan pushes Kane onto the prone Kingston and they get the 3.

Winner: KBry (new tag champions)

The two argue about who are the actual champions in the middle of the ring as Kane’s pyro goes off. Bryan celebrates in the ring after an entertaining match. Great to see them hug it out during the middle of the match and it was a nice nod to their RAW match previously.

Kaitlyn can’t wrestle tonight... oh dear! Eve is angling for a match I think. Booker T points out that she has been doing a great job and has a singles win over Kaitlyn. Eve puts herself out and takes one for the company by competing. Teddy looks concerned.

US Championship: Antonio Cesaro vs Zack Ryder

Cesaro is out first also complaining about his match (it seems to be a theme tonight). Oksana introduces the multilingual champion and he says unfair 5 times! Ryder is out next minus headband. It seems Tensai can’t even win a battle royal as they show Ryder’s win in the pre-show. Cesaro takes Ryder down early but Ryder hits back with a drop kick. JBL likes everything about Cesaro including Oksana. Cesaro is putting on a wrestling clinic with his throws, suplexes and submissions. Mid air uppercut only gets a 2 count as he continues to beat up on Ryder. Oksana is lounging on the ring apron luxuriously. Ryder mounts some quick offense and scores a 2 count with a missile drop kick and then again with a neck breaker. Let’s go Ryder chant. Hurricanrana on Cesaro from the top rope but Oksana blocks the Brosky boot. The distraction allows Cesaro to hit the neutraliser on Ryder to retain the title.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro

Nice match for Ryder to show why he deserves to be on PPV while also promoting Cesaro. Oksana is working well as a manager and is much better without Santino.

Ricardo is getting a grilling for taking off his neck brace. Otunga reminds him of the so called law suit. Does WWE really believe we couldn’t see through this rouse to start off with? Why not just let ADR and Sheamus fight without the stupid premise.

Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler is out first with Miss Excuse Me. I hear voices in my head too Randy but I don’t sing about it or use them as an excuse to hurt people. Orton is looking smug/unconcerned as he comes out which is odd. I wonder if he really wants to be here tonight? JBL talks up Orton’s heritage. Collar and elbow tie up around the ring. Randy starts stomping on Ziggler and follows with some upper cuts. Drop kick by Ziggler for a 2 count. Neck breaker on Orton as JBL calls Cole sexist for saying Vicky is “vocal”. Orton reverses a suplex into a springboard suplex for a 2 count. Vintage Orton neck breaker, shots and a running power slam. Dolph slips out of the DDT and turns it into a 2 count roll up. Orton counters with a powerbomb for a 2 count. Dolph knocks Orton off the top rope attempting a superplex. Missile drop kick for a 2 count on Orton. Vicky is going nuts on the outside claiming it was a 3. The two exchange bombs before Ziggler hands Orton up on the top rope and gets a 2 count. Ziggler elbows to the prone Orton and gets another 2 count. Ziggler uses his headstand rear neck and choke and bridges it to add extra pressure. Cole has become a face commentator over night defending the Ortons of this world. Orton uses a back suplex to create separation. Clothesline by Ziggler for another 2. JBL is commenting on Dolph’s relaxed cover while head butts and a drop kick by Orton on Ziggler. Ziggler hits a DDT from nowhere for another near fall. Orton crotches Ziggler on the top rope before finally hitting his superplex but he only gets a 2 count. The 2 exchange bombs and Dolph shows his toughness by matching Orton shot for shot. Ziggler hits the zigzag but only a 2 count. Vicky is livid! Orton launches Ziggler into the barricades at short range after another attempted second rope DDT. Orton sets Dolph up for the DDT from the barricade. Ziggler gets a foot on the bottom rope after being rolled back into the ring. The viper is coiled but Ziggler turns it into a roll up. Ziggler locks in the sleeper but Orton launches him in the air and hits the RKO mid air for the win.

Winner:  Randy Orton

A great match by both men! Orton gets a solid win over Ziggler and establishes himself as a heavyweight champion threat. Another loss for Ziggler at a PPV so his roll into a championship is further weakened. It sets him up well for changing manager from Vicky but once again he looks good jobbing to a main eventer.

Dredd 3D preview.

Divas Championship: Layla vs Eve

Eve wins after dominating Layla with choke holds and a clinical finish.

Bryan still walking around claiming he is the tag team champions. Dr Shelby is here as Kane and Bryan confront each other. AJ Lee makes a crazy intervention in short shorts and an odd tie/jacket combination. Bryan congratulates Kane. Kane claims he is going to Disneyland. AJ Lee is even more crazy after Kane’s celebration.

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs Alberto del Rio

ADR is out first. Sheamus is out next. Nice black (ADR) and white (Sheamus) contrast in the trunks. Ricardo makes the main event announcement for ADR. JBL makes the Cole-esque admiration of a personal ring announcer. Booker T is out after Sheamus’ main event announcement. The investigation into the Brogue kick is over and the result is: it’s legal! What was the point in banning it in the first place? Otunga gets a newly instated Brogue kick for his troubles. Sheamus launches ADR into the turnbuckle. Both men fight on the outside of the ring. ADR injures Sheamus’ arm/ribs on the Spanish announce table. ADR softens up the shoulder and attacks the neck of Sheamus. Shoulder first into the ring post then further punishing it on the outside. ADR lands an axe handle from the top rope before continuing with the shoulder submissions. A standing 10 count after an axe handle by Sheamus. Sheamus on offense with some knees and his chest strikes. ADR hits the backstabber for a 2 count on Sheamus. Cross arm breaker set up countered into white noise. Sheamus misses the Brogue kick and hits an inziguri for only a 2 count. ADR is frustrated and goes on kicking Sheamus. Brogue kick reversed into the arm breaker that is nearly turned into the Irish clover leaf. Sheamus’ arm is caught in the rope and ADR takes advantage to land more kicks. A one handed white noise is reversed into the cross arm breaker but Sheamus refuses to tap. He lifts ADR up for a powerbomb. Another standing 10 count as Sheamus gets up first. Once again the Brogue kick is reversed into the cross arm breaker. Sheamus imitates he is going to tap but his foot reaches the bottom rope. ADR is even more frustrated than before. Misses the inziguri and walks into a Brogue kick for Sheamus to retain.

Winner: Sheamus

ADR looked good for the win here on multiple occasions. Unfortunately, this loss reinforces why ADR has not been a main event talent: bad booking. Sheamus isn’t made to look better by this win as he is just an Irish Cena. ADR looks like he can’t win the big one and thus why he will never be a strong champion.

WWE Championship: CM Punk vs John Cena

Paul Heyman appears after the same intro video shown at the start of the show. 302 days with Punk as champion and Heyman is here to show his respect. Punk is out first: no shirt, just the belt. Punk shakes hands because he is a Paul Heyman guy and doesn’t seem to care about the fans anymore. The crowd booing is better from a WWE creative position but Cena still gets more of a negative reaction despite being the good guy. Cena is fighting cancer in his pink gear tonight. Main event introductions for Punk and Cena. Punk is a little obsessed just holding up the title as he soaks up the negative crowd reaction.

Two men exchange take downs to start the match. Punk dominates early with head locks and drop toe holds. Punk with a bridged submission looking hold (STF meets neck ringer). Suicide dive into Cena as Punk gets in Cena’s father’s face. Cena strikes with a baseball slide, throws Punk over the barricade and suplexes him back into the arena. Punk lands a head kick after being rolled back into the ring. Cena powers out of the chin lock but is beaten down with elbows. Punk teeing off on Cena with chin shots for a 2 count. Axe handle from the top rope and Punk goes for the GTS. Cena reverses into a shoulder block but receives a swinging neck breaker for his trouble. Clothesline by Cena for a 2 count. 5 knuckle shuffle gets a boot in the face and JBL suggests it is the Paul Heyman factor. Cena catches Punk and rolls through and tries to lift him up for the AA. Punk escapes but Cena hits a suicide dive on the outside. Back suplex but once again the 5 knuckle shuffle is reversed into the anaconda vice. Cena turns it back into the STF locked in the middle of the ring. Punk reverses into the cross face crippler (RIP Benoit). Cena powers out and dumps Punk with a back suplex. Cena chant from the crowd. Punk chant from the crowd. The two men exchange bombs but Punk wins out with a heel kick to the haw. High running knee in the corner, Punk goes to the top rope and hits the Macho Man elbow. Punk calls for the GTS but Cena counters mid move into the STF. Punk eventually reaches the bottom rope and breaks the hold. Punk finally hits the GTS but only gets a 2 count. Punk looking at Heyman for advice but Cena is stirring. Punk’s educated feet go to work on Cena and he hits a clothesline for a 2. Slap to the face and a GTS is blocked before Cena eventually hits the AA for a... 2 count. Cena goes out after Punk on the outside before heading to the top rope. Cena misses the leg drop and gets a round house kick... 2 count again! More slaps, knee to the temple and another 2. Punk goes to the top rope and misses a moonsault leading to a standing 10 count. AA reversed into another GTS for another 2 count. Punk lands a rock bottom and still can’t get the 3 count. Another AA fails to get the 3 count. CM Punk chant starts up. Cena lifts Punk onto the top rope. This is awesome chant. Cena hits a back suplex from the top rope and bridges into the 3 count.

Winner: John Cena (new champion)

Referee declares the match a draw. Punk is still the champion!

Winner: No one

Punk attacks Cena with the belt and knocks him out. Punk stands over the unconscious Cena.

Another PPV and another Punk win. This is getting too bad for words. I get they want us to hate the guy but not like this. For the first time in years I actually wanted Cena to win the match. Instead we get the most uncharismatic and non-eventful WWE championship reign continuing. WWE creative better have a good pay off for this storyline or I might just stop watching full stop.

Championship Mindset

Thurston: Looking for someone else to blame

Two teams went out of their respective finals competitions last night, the North Queensland Cowboys (NRL) and the Fremantle Dockers (AFL), and their exits demonstrate why one will be competitive next year and why the other will remain a perennial failure.

To start off, these games were both coin toss affairs. The home teams, who won, would go in favourites on location alone but both challengers had form to make a seasoned tipster wary. This is the nature of finals football: you play well in the regular season to earn a home ground advantage and you hope that it pays off in the finals.

The Cowboys had a strong finish to the season and were almost favourites against the Manly Sea eagles. Thurston (JT) and Bowen were the magic pairing that could destroy the Manly defence and make it through to next week. Similarly, Fremantle was the hot team of the AFL with Pavlich kicking goals and the genius of master coach Ross Lyon. Both teams lost but only one showed that they might eventually win the big one.

That team wasn’t the Cowboys. In a nutshell: rather than acknowledge their own failings they would rather dwell on the wrongs done to them. This quote says it all:

''It's sour grapes from our point of view, but I just think the remaining teams in the competition would be a little bit nervous. I'd imagine the coaches would be going, 'It's a bit of a lottery'. Yeah, we could have tackled him into touch, yeah we lacked a bit of composure at times, but both those decisions rattled us.'”

Rather than admit that they could have stopped the try or could have been better at times they would rather criticise the referees for a couple of bad decisions. Were these bad decisions? No doubt and the refereeing in the NRL has been an issue all year. But everyone knew this was the case and the best teams simply take the referee out of the equation. Having been a long time Sydney Swans supporter, I come prepared for pro-Melbourne team umpiring and enjoy watching the Swans make their own luck and not allow the umpires to decide the game for my team. Moreover, their “sour grapes” indicates that they would rather dwell on the past rather than plan how to improve next year. A quick bit of advice for JT and the Cowboys: finish in the top four so you can have a home final. It’s a simple equation: play well all year (not just at the end because you decide to turn up for finals) and reap the rewards later on. This is a much better approach to winning a premiership.

Another key point is that Manly was the better side regardless. Their defence ensured that JT could not even score the points needed to win. This was partly due to JT’s poor decision making in the last 20 minutes when the game could have been won. Rather than be patient and pin Manly in their own half, JT put up a pointless chip kick, lost the ball on a poor tackle 5 option and lacked the composure it takes to win. Compare that to the way win which Cherry-Evans and his team just kept tackling and made meters in their own sets and one can see why one team had won premierships in the past 5 years and the other remains perennial underachievers. The Cowboys may have thought it was their year but someone should tell JT that premierships aren’t given to teams on a silver platter because they think they deserve it.

All this is in stark contrast to the attitude of the Fremantle Dockers’ coach Ross Lyon. Unlike JT or Neil Henry, he chose to make no excuses for his team’s performance. He didn’t blame the travel or schedule. In response to questions about these he said:

"It's irrelevant, it's all garbage to be frank... We're not into excuses ... we wouldn't be talking about scheduling if we had of been a bit more organised and a bit more polished."

Rather than do a JT and blame everyone else, he instead put the blame where it belonged: the team itself. This isn’t negative either because he chooses to focus the energy and improvement on the one thing he knows he can control. He can’t control the schedule or decisions by the AFL but he can control what his own team does. He knows that only by being better will they win their first premiership.

This is the message we should be sending our aspiring sport stars and children in general. Rather than a world of whinging JTs bemoaning the failings of others, that on a balanced look at the game did not cause his team’s failure, we should instead be showing them images of Ross Lyon focusing on a future with better performances. In the end, the only thing we can control is our own actions and performance. In a world of slow motion replays and a multitude of TV experts it is easy to find fault elsewhere but ultimately, if we take our chances and are well prepared we will achieve success.  

Summerslam 2012

I wonder if I can actually win a pay-per-view match this year?

Preview

It’s the biggest party of the summer and all we have is a list of party poopers. Lesnar likes to twist people’s arms (literally) to get their attention. CM Punk can’t stand not being the centre of attention and needs to let everyone know why.  Del Rio likes fancy dress parties where he beats up his opponents and wonders why his championship matches get cancelled. Ziggler wants to party with the world title but needs to beat Jericho to prove he is worth all the fuss. And WWE wants us all to remember the great matches of Summerslam past. I’m not looking forward to our main event of Lesnar and HHH but hopefully Ziggler/Jericho makes the night worthwhile.

Dolph Ziggler (DZ) v Chris Jericho (CJ)

Vicky horrifies the crowd with a skin tone tight dress which makes DZ perform a standing lap dance. CJ is out next with heavily taped ribs and a slightly better looking sparkly jacket. DZ attempts to outsmart CJ by running outside the ring but CJ takes control with elbows and a springboard. DZ attacks the ribs before being lifted out of the ring by CJ. CJ misses a springboard kick and allows DZ to attack the injured ribs on the outside. DZ insists on doing more stripper type moves while delivering a neck breaker. CJ rolls up DZ and allows him to launch some offense. Top rope axe handle by CJ but DZ hits a version of the zigzag out of nowhere for a 2 count. DZ counters an attempt to lock him in the walls but falls victim to an inziguri for a 2 count. DZ locks on the sleeper as Vicky gets louder on the outside. CJ lands a hurricanrana off the top rope on DZ but is slow to cover and only gets a 2 count. CJ kicks out at 2 after a snap DDT by DZ. Running bulldog by CJ then DZ gets his knees up on the lionsault and hits the zigzag but only gets a 2 count. Code breaker by CJ but DZ rolls to the outside. Vicky tries to interfere for a roll up pin to DZ but CJ kicks out again. CJ sends DZ into the ring post and makes DZ tap to the walls (more like an old fashioned lion tamer). The commentators claim CJ has won the big one, I wouldn’t go that far but I do like see Y2J finally getting a win at a PPV =)

Winner: Chris Jericho

Shawn Michaels isn’t at Summerslam: he said so on Twitter. Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar talk about changes to the rules for tonight’s match. It’s a fight to the finish: Lesnar will break the spirit of WWE tonight (so I assume he will definitely lose then).

Daniel Bryan (DB) v Kane (K)

No! No! No! DB is out first and gets in the face of some of the fans as yes chants ring around the stadium. K is all dark and fiery with that creepy welding mask of his. Michael Cole factoid: DB has never defeated K one-on-one. K no sells DB kicks before landing a slam and drop kick for a 2 count. DB chant from the crowd. K starts selling some of DBs kicks before just chucking him out of the ring. Suicide dive by DB onto K on the outside. A missile drop kick by DB from the top rope for a 2 count on K. DB takes his anger at the crowd out on Ks chest. Vintage moves by K (slide slam, top rope) but DB escapes the choke slam. K doesn’t appreciate the slap by DB and nearly gets DQed. DB fails to get the no lock on K so he goes to the top rope for a flying head butt. K catches DB with his hand and lands the choke slam instead. K goes for the tombstone but gets rolled up for the 3 count. Another surprise win! First Ziggler loses to Jericho now Kane loses to Bryan. Kane looks really unhappy. In fact, a camera in the back shows Kane destroying the backstage area, Joshua Matthews and anyone else that gets in his way as he looks for Bryan.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (RM) v The Miz (TM)

RM comes out dressed like a mini-batman. Lawler points out the bleeding obvious film reference for those who didn’t recognise RM’s costume. Awesome! TM’s big awesome letters are back along with his title. I like this new look by TM: harder, edgier and looking much more like main event material. TM over powers RM early but RM gets TM with a baseball slide on the outside. TM uses the opportunity to run RM into the barricade and get a 2 count. TM hits a spinning back breaker type move for a 2 count and continues to punish RM. The gloating Miz gets crotched by RM, allowing RM to land some offense but is caught with a power bomb. RM gets a 2 count with a spinning DDT on TM. Back and forth before RM lands the 619 but TM rolls out of the top rope splash. RM rolls TM up but only gets a 2. TM drops RM on the turnbuckle and lands the skull crushing finale to retain the title. I’d glad I don’t do predictions as again I am surprised by this result. Nice to see the WWE let Miz keep the title so that it can build some prestige again.

Winner: The Miz

Teddy is just leaving after visiting AJ Lee and says nice things about her but Eve clearly thinks otherwise. CM Punk goes in to see AJ and whinges about the triple threat match rules again. AJ Lee seems to tune out of the conversation about half way through and Punk claims that he will prove that they need to respect him by winning tonight.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio (ADR) v Sheamus (S)

A highlight package about the on again, off again championship match. ADR comes out in a Ferrari as Ricardo holds the Albertoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo for a bit longer than usual. Cole tells us how much ADR owns in Mexico. Seems S likes ADR’s new Ferrari as well. Both men grapple aggressively in the corners before taking it to the outside. ADR catches S with a head kick as he re-enters the ring but S gets a cover after a neck breaker. ADR exposes the turn buckle while S tries to take him out of the corner. S misses with the brogue kick and ADR low kicks S to the outside. ADR sends S into the ring steps and then hits a top rope axe handle for a 2 count. ADR controls S with further kicks to the head and legs. Either ADR is frustrated or is blowing hard too early on for a main event. ADR misses a brogue kick of his own but S runs shoulder first into the ring post. ADR hits a top rope move on S’s arm but only gets a 2 count. ADR locks on the cross-arm breaker in the middle of the ring but S powers ADR up for a slam (very super-Cena like). S hits white noise for a 2 count. ADR avoids the brogue kick again but gets the famous slaps on the outside of the ring. ADR drops S on the exposed turn buckle and only gets a 2 count after the inziguri. S uses Ricardo’s shoe to attack ADR before hitting the Irish cure back breaker for a 3 count, knocking ADR’s foot off the rope before the referee can see it. Lawler gloats that S stole one and ADR is livid. ADR won’t leave the ring after being cost the world title.

Winner: Sheamus

Video of HHH telling the referee that this is basically a no count out, no DQ match. Something about a Twitter war and Shawn Michaels can’t stay off Twitter either.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Kofi/Truth (K/T) v Darren Young/Titus O’Neil (Y/O) [The Prime Time Players ]

T and Y start things off. T dominates early but Y tags in O as he further punishes T. K tagged in and hits the boom drop. Distraction by Y allows O to recover and they punish K on the outside. Double team on K as Y gets a 2 count. K has the crowd on his side but then again these are the same people who started a Lil Jimmy chant. K can’t escape his opponent’s corner and O puts an abdominal stretch on K. K counters with a DDT and both K and O tag out. T dominates Y and gets a 2 count broken by O. K lands a cross body on O the outside and Y nearly gets a roll up. T eventually lands his finisher to pick up the victory and retain the titles. Another win for the baby faces!

Winner: Kofi/Truth

WWE in LA being nice to the fans, sick children and people who are bullied. Thank you LA!

WWE Championship: Big Show (BS) v John Cena (JC) v CM Punk (CP)

Let’s relive the Punk reign as WWE champion: matches, complaining and (shock, horror) him turning on the WWE universe. Punk has respect issues with Cena and AJ, will they be resolved tonight? JC is out first to big boos by the fans. This is either a really long match or we have more filler matches as the PPV has over an hour to go and I can’t see Lesnar/HHH going that long. Lawler respects JC and his t-shirts. BS is out next and he looks deadly serious tonight. Michael Cole factoid: BS has held every active championship, favourite for this match and CP does not to be pinned to lose the title. CP comes out (274 days as champion and counting, 13^th longest reign) to a big crowd reaction. Is he meant to be a face or a heel? His reaction indicates the former although the WWE seem to be trying push him as the latter. CP is decked out in pink reminiscent of Bret “Hitman” Hart. Michael Cole factoid: CP has not been in the main event in a PPV since December despite being champion! BS just man handles JC and CP in the early stages (slap, slam, squash etc.). CP takes out BS’s legs and follows up with some kicks. CP goes for an early GTS on BS but is slapped down for his trouble so JC shows him how it’s done but CP knocks both JC and BS down. Repeat of the opening of the match with BS focusing on CP after knocking JC out of the ring. BS loads the WMD but JC interferes and is speared for his troubles. Just a thought: time for Ziggler to cash in his MIB briefcase after this match? It would make sense since he lost earlier on. BS lands a splash on JC but the pin is broken up by CP. BS goes to the outside since he knocked his two opponents there and inflicts further punishment. BS focuses on JC in the ring. JC hits a side suplex on BS but CP interrupts. CP hits the Macho Man elbow on BS for a 1.5 count. CP locks a submission hold on BS but the hold is quickly broken. JC locks the STF on BS but again BS powers out of the move. Flying forearm by CP on BS followed by 3 high running knees but BS powers out of the bulldog. Top rope leg drop by JC and CP locks in the anaconda vice. JC is then really stupid and locks in the STF AT THE SAME TIME! The referee then joins the stupidity and rings the bell despite there being no clear winner. AJ comes out and JC/CP both plead their cases, which includes using tweets. AJ surprises no one by restarting the match. Double choke slam by BS and gets a 2 count first on JC then CP. BS goes for the WMD but JC lands the AA. CP throws JC out of the ring and steals the 3 count. Winner and still champion Punk! Am I surprised? No but I am so disappointed. The boring reign of Punk continues and so he will climb further up the rank of longest WWE championship reigns. CP celebrates in JCs face as JC encourages CP to enjoy it. Can someone please knock this guy out so Ziggler can cash in MIB... this is getting frustrating. Heel CP then laps up the crowd’s adoration like a heel is meant to (LOL, go WWE!). A predictably boring match with a predictable ending for this now boring title reign: I hate to repeat myself but the energy and freshness that Punk brought to the WWE title is now utterly wasted. An attempt to turn Punk heel is failing because he still gets a face response and even his ring attire looks like a face. Moving the title onto Cena will only make people even more annoyed as it goes from the new boring eternal champion to the old boring eternal champion. WWE screwed up Jericho’s return and a chance for a good series of matches between Punk/Jericho and an entertaining title picture. They then screwed up the Bryan/Punk series by just making Bryan lose 3 times in a row. Now, I don’t really care who fights Punk because I won’t expect them to win and the guy who will probably beat him is Cena.

Winner: CM Punk

Antonio Cesaro beat Santino Marella for the US Title. Kevin Rudolf (don’t give up) plays that bloody song (don’t look down) that I’ve heard 10,000 times tonight (don’t give up) to a flat crowd (don’t look down). Dancing Divas make (don’t give up) the song more bearable (don’t look down) but not by much (don’t give up). Michael Cole dancing (don’t look down) on the other hand was (don’t give up) more amusing (don’t look down). I didn’t realise how repetitive this song was.  

Brock Lesnar (BL) v Triple H (HHH)

BL is out first and Lawler thinks he looks less intense than usual. HHH is out next to a huge pop. Michael Cole factoid: this might be the most personal match in HHH’s life – just like his match against Undertaker, Rand Orton and anyone else he has fought in the last 3 years. Shawn Michaels is still on Twitter apparently. Spot lights for the main event participants during the announcements. BL backs HHH into the corner and tries to apply the chimora lock. HHH knocks BL outside of the ring, lands a high knee and then knocks him out of the ring again. BL loses the gloves (the gloves are off!) and takes down HHH and punches him in the back of the head. HHH and BL fight near the announce table. BL slams HHH onto the table with a key lock, damaging the injured arm that has been the focus on the chimora lock. HHH makes his way back to the ring and gets slammed on his bad arm again. BL wraps the arm around the ropes and punishes him with kicks in the corner. HHH can only manage some kicks before BL goes back to the arm. This reminds me of the Cena match from earlier this year so I will predict Lesnar will beat up HHH for most of the match but lose to a pedigree in 5 moves. BL hits a German suplex on HHH but HHH slingshots BL on the top rope. DDT and kicks by HHH but BL just goes back to the arm. Outside the ring, BL throws HHH into the steel steps and then kidney first into the Spanish announcers table. BL launches himself off the table onto HHH on the barricade. Clothesline to HHH as BL just smiles at his dominance. HHH blocks then reverses a suplex and BL runs into the turnbuckle. HHH thrown into the turnbuckle and he tumbles out of the ring so BL follows. BL launched into the announce table as he looks winded. Heyman asks is BL is hurt and BL complains of a hurt stomach so HHH attacks him in this area again. Michael Cole factoid: Lesnar has an issue of stomach issues over the years. BL is selling this stomach injury well as HHH turns the tables (lawsuit?). AA spine buster by HHH on BL leads to the pedigree and a kick out at 2. Low blow by BL and Heyman demands the referee not DQ the match. F5 on HHH but only gets a 2 count. Chimora lock near the ropes but HHH breaks the hold with some kidney shots. 2^nd pedigree, as HHH goes for the pin though BL puts on the chimora lock and HHH taps out. Once again I thought HHH would win this match but Lesnar wins by submission. Heyman proves again why he is so good in wrestling: despite not being involved physically his presence was gold. HHH rejects medical assistance as Lesnar gloats at the top of the ramp. Lawler thinks HHH has a ‘broken arm’ but HHH staggers to his feet and tries to leave under his own steam. You tapped out chant by the crowd as HHH finally rises – harsh crowd tonight. HHH apologises to the fans (sorry: WWE universe) as he soaks up the crowd chants. Michael Cole factoid: “You’ve got to wonder: is this the end of HHH?” Lawler: “I think he just said goodbye.”

Winner: Brock Lesnar

All up, the main event was better than expected and many of the results seemed out of the ordinary for WWE. Good to see Bryan, Jericho, Miz and Lesnar get wins but again Punk retains the title. The triple threat for the WWE title had a predictable if stupid ending and one wonders how much farther Punk’s title reign will last. Looks like Jericho got a farewell win on PPV before he leaves for Fozzy’s tour. Bryan got a nice win and will probably have to face Kane again next PPV. Miz looked good in defeating Mysterio and would do well with a nice long title reign to re-establish himself in WWE. Sheamus cheated to win: good move for a face. The tag team titles remain on the non-existent champions who never win on free to air. Cena beat Show but Punk picked up the win to retain the title: so he’s a heel because he cheats to win but everyone still cheers him over Cena and Show. This indicates that WWE failed to push Punk when he was hot and will now use a series of lame endings in order to make him a heel so Cena will be welcomed back as champion. Finally, Lesnar defeated HHH in a surprisingly entertaining match but how many times can HHH retire? I thought he retired after losing at WM. Maybe he is truly Ric Flair’s heir in this respect too =)

The Batman Trilogy

As dawn approaches on a chilly Canberra morning, I am sitting here wired after my 9 hour Batman marathon has come to an end. The experience of watching the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy back to back over this night has left me with a new appreciation of the brilliance of this masterful director but it also reminded me why I usually avoid midnight screenings. This review will recap the films in order ending with the latest release [N.B. This review does not contain any plot spoilers if you wish to see the film].

Batman Begins

A small but stunning performance by Katie Holmes

Going into the first film of the trilogy I was a little hesitant. I missed this film at the cinemas when it was first released and had only watched it on DVD. Unfortunately, I found my DVD viewing of the film a disappointment with the plot seemingly laborious and the acting only mediocre. However, the cinema experience of this film changed my impression drastically. On the big screen with surround sound, the action sequences come to life more explosively and create that arm chair thrill ride Nolan is renowned for. This is particularly evident in the finale in which Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) and Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson) battle through a speeding train carriage to save Gotham city. Moreover, the performance of Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes has a subtlety and innocence to it that makes her brief appearances powerful. This film though still disappoints in its comparatively looser plotting and unfortunate one-liners. The circular structure of the narrative, going back and forth in time for the maturing Bruce Wayne, leaves sections feeling flat and although some may argue this heightens the action sequences, it ultimately means it lacks the immediacy and intensity of its successors. Also, the attempts at humour during some of the action sequences are below par compared to the rest of the film and only serve to highlight the flaws in this film. Overall though, when seen in relation to The Dark Knight, this is a solid start to the trilogy and creates a strong foundation for the films that follow. Bruce Wayne/Batman is presented as a conflicted but virtuous and noble hero for a new age and the film takes Batman from shallow comic book hero to a complex hero for our uncertain times.

The Dark Knight

Heath Ledger shines as the Joker

After a quick coffee break, thanks to the young man in Koko Black who kindly rushed our order and allowed us to pay him rather than the cashier, I returned for the second instalment in the trilogy. This time I had none of the concerns that accompanied my approach to Batman Begins. The Dark Knight is one of the reasons I have become such as huge Christopher Nolan fan and it is a film and DVD that I have seen and enjoyed multiple times. The accomplishments of the film are many: an eerie and haunting musical score, an outstanding performance by Heath Ledger as the Joker, a gripping plot and spectacular cinematography. In fact, the cinema experiences heightened the sense of dread and darkness this film created as the Joker’s seemingly unstoppable crusade against Gotham was carried out. In particular, the musical score by James Newton Howard and Hans Zimmer really stand out as essential to the film’s success. Also, the tight plot structure makes it stand out from its fellow films in that we can focus intently on the two main actors: the excellent Heath Ledger and intense Christian Bale. Of the two, Heath Ledger really does steal the show with his performance. There is a chill you feel when he tells one of his many version of how he got his facial scars and his reactions when being interrogated by Batman in the police station almost make you wonder if he did in fact go insane performing the role. Finally, the dramatic end with the boats and Batman’s exile lend a serious and thoughtful end to this rollercoaster ride of a movie.

The Dark Knight Rises

Bane vs Batman is a gripping battle

Three weeks later...

I have just returned home from seeing the film for the second time. It would be remiss of me to not mention this fact in case you thought all 3 reviews were written on the night. Although this was the plan, sheer tiredness got the better of me. Moreover, I wanted to appreciate the film while being more awake as the move marathon made following Bane’s speech hard enough let alone the plot twists.

Firstly, Nolan does not disappoint with this final instalment of the trilogy. For all the criticisms that can be made about the film, and there are some legitimate ones, this is the epic masterpiece the series deserved. Not only does the film successfully tie together the storylines from the first two films but gives Batman/Bruce Wayne the ending he deserves. In fact, this is one of the major strengths of the film and further proves the masterful work of Nolan as a director.

This success however can lead to one of the major criticisms of the film: its length. At nearly three hours this is a long film and requires a bit of concentration. It also helps to be well versed in the previous instalments as the references back to the other two films are pivotal to the plot twists. Thus, as a standalone film this does not stand up well and can make it inaccessible for some viewers.

However, this criticism misses the point that this is the last film in a trilogy and needs to be viewed in these terms. The length is a result of the need to tie up all the loose ends that the first two films introduced and without the flashbacks the character development doesn’t have the same emotional impact. Take for instance the role of Commissioner Gordon, his influence in this film is comparatively smaller compared to the previous two films but his seeming betrayal and redemption are meaningless without this background. A similar argument can be made for the role of Alfred, who once again has a much smaller role in the final film.

Moreover, the set piece action sequences need to be seen in the cinema to be fully appreciated. The opening sequence with the aeroplane jacking and the football field collapse are breath taking and remind me of some of the great sequences from The Dark Knight. Similarly, the sequences in the pit are intense and gritty: giving the viewer to a fuller appreciation of Bane’s motivation. Thus, Nolan gives us a well rounded bad guy in Bane that makes his battle with Batman even more intense.

Lastly, the film is an epic and should be forgiven its faults because of this. Thinking back on some of the greatest films of all time, such as Gone with the Wind and Citizen Kane, these too are long and could be argued to be boring in parts but the epic nature of these films requires of the viewer to accept this as part of the viewing experience. Now, it is clearly a bit early to compare this film to these certified greats but as a trilogy goes this has already begun to cement itself as an all time favourite. Nolan is already recognised as one of the most influential directors of his generation and this series has proven why.

Money in the Bank 2012

I was the special guest referee and called the match down the line. Surprised?

Just one year ago...

Money in the Bank 2011 was such a game changer for WWE. Bryan came from nowhere to win Smackdown MIB and the IWC dared to dream that Vince might actually put a genuine wrestler (not a body builder) over as champion. Henry continued on his path of destruction that would lead to his dominant title reign. But most importantly Punk beat Cena and apparently left the WWE. While Ring of Honour wanted its storyline back, there was a genuine excitement that someone apart from Cena was champion and that we could see something different.

A year on the situation is eerily similar. This time Punk is the boring champion many people want to see defeated with Bryan as the popular challenger. Also, the RAW MIB match will similarly fail to elevate the winner but that happens when you populate the match only with former champions. Unfortunately, the world heavyweight championship is clearly less exciting than the Christian/Orton feud of last year but this is once again a result of poor booking for Sheamus/ADR.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match for a World Championship Contract (Damien Sandow, Tyson Kidd, Intercontinental Champion Christian, United States Champion Santino Marella, Tensai, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, and Sin Cara)

Prediction: This could be the most entertaining match of the night as it has a good mix of big guys, such as Sandow and Tensai, along with smaller guys, like Kidd and Sin Cara. On the other hand, there seems to be a few too many contestants thus making it hard to develop or follow any in-match storylines. Moreover, apart from Cody or Christian, I can’t see any of these guys being legitimate champions if they cash in briefcase – yes, Ziggler is not a legitimate champion because he has lost so many championship matches (one every 2/3 weeks).

Match: Tensai dominated early before Kidd and Christian team up on him with a ladder. Ziggler and Rhodes battle in the ring over a ladder before Sin Cara eliminates both of them. Christian misses a top rope splash on Kidd, who is prone on the ladder. Looks like Santino messed up a power bomb off the ladder by Tensai then missed the subsequent splash onto the people on the outside. Sandow and Christian try to climb over each other to get to the briefcase. Christian spears Sandow into the ladder. Rhodes and Ziggler battle on the ladder before Tensai takes control and almost every other competitor is required to stop him. Cobra on Ziggler but Santino apparently has vertigo (one questions why he would enter the match in the first place) allowing Rhodes to knock him off. Vickie distracts Rhodes and allows Ziggler to climb the ladder but Christian stops him. Kidd launches a ladder at Christian/Ziggler and power bombs Ziggler off the ladder. Tensai bombs Sin Cara onto a ladder set up on the announce table then hip tosses Ziggler into the barricade. Rhodes plants front Kidd with a front face suplex off the ladder in the ring as Christian spears Rhodes off the same ladder. Ziggler out of nowhere knocks off Christian (who for an experienced ladder match participant seemed particularly inept at climbing the ladder and retrieving the briefcase).

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

A not totally surprising result in this match and the match itself was pretty good. There were a couple of really good spots with Tensai and Christian but Santino was pathetic and Sin Cara again did nothing special. I wonder whether they might make a genuine attempt to build up Ziggler or will they continue to book him to look weak. I would have preferred to see Rhodes get the opportunity but then Ziggler has been performing solidly losing championship matches over the last few months.  

Sheamus interview with Josh Matthews. Sheamus shuts down JM’s questions on Ziggler and talks about cars. The extended metaphor here is that Sheamus is an old clunker that gets from A to B while ADR will be scrap metal.

The Miz returns from a 2 month absence – unfortunately I didn’t notice or mind that he was gone. A Miz is awesome chant starts up and he actually has some crowd support. He claims he doesn’t need to brag and instead he will enter the RAW MIB match, which is a good thing in this writer’s opinion.

Mick Foley’s favourite RAW moment was winning the title from the Rock.

World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Prediction: I haven’t really been interested in this rivalry as they pushed Sheamus too early as champion. Similarly, ADR has been champion and lost it so quickly that the whole destiny thing sounds like hot air. Sheamus has been rolling through the likes of Ziggler lately and I can see him beating ADR here for the win thus setting up a rematch for next PPV.

Match: ADR reminds Sheamus of his bad arm before Sheamus dumps him out of the ring. The ref seems a bit eager to break these two up as they brawl in the middle of the ring. ADR keeps going for the arm bar allowing Sheamus to get in some hard shots. ADR misses the biggest slow motion baseball slide in history before he is suplexed back into the ring. Ricardo distracts Sheamus and allows ADR to get in a head kick before throwing Sheamus into the ring steps and barricades. ADR then refocuses on the arm of Sheamus with submission holds and body shots. Sheamus fights out of the arm lock and hits a swinging neck breaker on ADR. Sheamus is launched into the ring post and gets his arm wrapped around it. ADR misses a cross arm breaker but Sheamus launches himself into another attack on his injured left arm. Sheamus hits a running knee and a slam leading into his patented chest strikes. ADR hits an arm ringer on the ropes but Sheamus responds with the Irish curse back breaker. Carlito rang and wants his backstabber finishing move back ADR. ADR misses a slow motion head kick allowing Sheamus to hit white noise and sets up for the brogue kick. 1... 2... 3... and Sheamus retains the title.

Winner: Sheamus

Commentary claims that Sheamus looked strong in overcoming the odds and ADRs offense. Once again he looked like the lesser man and he is becoming the new Cena: get beaten up for most of the match, Irish curse, white noise, brogue kick and the 3 count. He has now held the title for over 100 days since defeating Bryan at WM and isn’t any more convincing then when he started. Don’t get me wrong, I like Sheamus and think he will be the future of the WWE but he needs to look smoother in big matches as some spots in this championship match were very amateurish.

Ricardo and ADR attacked Sheamus after the match. Ziggler comes out to try and cash in his briefcase but gets a brogue kick for his trouble. Surprise, surprise: WWE give Ziggler the MIB briefcase and they immediately book him to look like an idiot. In fact, he is lucky not to be the first person to NOT win the title after cashing in MIB. Well done WWE!

Josh Matthews interview Daniel Bryan. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Random Tag Team Match: Epico/Primo vs. Young/O’Neal

Match: KofiTruth are ringside for this match dressed in suits. A couple of high flying spots from Epico/Primo but Truth talking with Little Jimmy on commentary are competing for my interest. The idiot manager (AW?) doing running commentary is grating and is beginning to distract from some good wrestling. AW called Primo “Taco bell” so it is good to see that WWE continue to promote racist stereotypes. Primo does some actual wrestling but everyone is so bored by this point that even the commentators have stopped paying attention. Primo rolls up Young after Young hits his finisher.

Winner: Epico/Primo

This is the reason why the tag team division is a joke. You have a tag team match that had some good wrestling in it but it is over shadowed by AW doing commentary, Rosa dancing (not bad but still not wrestling) and R-Truth talking to an imaginary person on commentary.

Young and O’Neal get in KofiTruth’s face after the match as they whinge about losing. KofiTruth gives AW a face full of water and he decides to take off his shoes to fight (not a typo – he keeps his jacket on but removes his shoes to have a fight!). Best part of the match is here where Truth restrains Little Jimmy (imaginary friend) from going after AW.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan (Random Stipulation: No DQ)

Prediction: The whole AJ situation makes this a little unpredictable. The fact that Punk is close to holding the title for nearly a year indicates that he might hold it a bit longer. I would like to see Bryan win for a bit of a change as Punk as champion has definitely gone stale.

Match: Michael Cole announces the match is now no DQ: why? No explanation but I think it has something to do with Ziggler holding the MIB briefcase. Punk has surpassed HBK’s 1996 reign and is 17^th all time with Bret Hart/Hulk Hogan in his sights. Will he make it?

Punk uses kicks and slaps to take control early before Bryan launched him into the barricade. Bryan targets Punk’s arm/wrist and hits some yes kicks. Bryan rakes Punk’s face on the top rope. Both men exchange kicks and high flying moves. Bryan bumps Punk into AJ and she is knocked out. AJ is escorted to the back after Bryan runs Punk into the steel steps. Flying knee and a front face suplex onto to steel steps by Bryan. Punk launches Bryan over the barricade and gains the upper hand on the outside. We want tables chant and Punk obliges. Bryan slams Punk on the outside and stalks him with a kendo stick but misses. Bryan eventually gets Punk with the kendo stick as he comes off the top rope. Bryan continues the attack on the mat and gets a 2 count. Bryan misses the flying head strike off the top rope. Punk hits some kicks and a neck breaker for a 2 count. Punk lands the power slam and calls for the GTS but Bryan counters twice – the second into a 2 count before a head kick followed up by kendo shots and a surfboard submission. Punk uses the kendo stick to break the hold and bash Bryan’s head for a 2 count. Superplex off the top rope and both men are down as AJ the special guest referee returns. AJ has a chair and is deciding what to do with it. She puts it in the middle of the ring and both scramble to reach it. Bryan lands 4 massive chair shots to Punk’s back and only gets a 2 count. Bryan begs AJ for the 3 count and it allows Punk to roll him up for a 2 count. Bryan hits the yes kicks in the corner but Punk lands a massive clothesline. Punk returns the favour with 3 massive chair shots and sets up the chair in the corner. AJ blocks Punk’s move to whip Bryan into the chair and allows Bryan to regain the advantage. But then AJ stops Bryan from getting the kendo stick and Punk gets Bryan with a head shot. Slam onto the chair but Bryan rolls out of the top rope elbow. Bryan tries to lock in the yes lock and does so using the kendo stick. Punk launches Bryan into the ring post and hits the GTS for a... 2 count! Punk’s turn to look disappointed with AJ as Bryan begins to stir. Punk gets his table from the outside and is knocked off the top rope as he goes to put Bryan through it with an elbow. Bryan goes up to the top rope too but is crotched by Punk. Punk then back suplexes Bryan off the top rope and through the table for the 3 count and the win.

Winner: CM Punk

Frustrating result! Bryan was the better wrestler throughout and once again has to take the loss. Punk is now officially the new super-Cena with his seemingly inevitable victories. This was another great match but the ending was too predictable. I am so sick of Punk winning all the time that I hate him as much as I hated Cena. Why don’t we just skip the whole main event match and make Punk champion for life! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Random Ryback Match: Ryback vs. Hawkins/Reks

Match: Booker T discusses how a loss to Hawreks would put their careers back a long way. I am preparing for their careers to be put back a long way. Goldberg chants throughout the match. A decent amount of offense before Ryback wins.

Winner: Ryback

Random Diva Match: Layla, Kaitlyn and Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix, Natalya and Eve

Match: Another filler match. It all broke down at the end with Layla catching Beth by surprise.

Winner: Layla, Kaitlyn and Tamina

Money in the Bank Ladder Match for a WWE Championship Contract (Big Show, Kane, Chris Jericho and John Cena plus extra Miz)

Prediction: This has the possibility of being the worst match on the card for one simple reason – too many big guys! Show and Kane work well with smaller guys in a match like this but they only have Jericho to dance with. Cena is ok in one-on-one ladder matches but then he has always had top talent like Edge to make him look good. As for the winner, it could be any of them but I think Kane is the least likely as he won last year along with Jericho as he is leaving for a concert tour with Fozzy.

Match: Show and Cena go after each other from the start. Miz tries to sneak up the ladder but Cena then Show stop him. Show rebuffs attacks from Kane, Miz and Jericho with ease in the middle of the ring before getting a code breaker from Jericho, DDT from Miz and a big boot from Kane. Cena puts Show through the Spanish announce table with an AA before everyone buries Show under a pile of ladders. Jericho and Miz battle in the ring with Jericho locking the walls on Miz. Jericho catapults Miz into a ladder in the corner of the ring. Cena blocks Jericho from climbing the ladder but Miz takes out Cena with a DDT. Kane literally throws a ladder at Miz who had a hand on the briefcase. Miz and Jericho double suplex Kane onto a ladder before Cena takes them both out. He then performs a stupid looking double 5 knuckle shuffle on the prone Miz/Jericho on the ladder. Jericho dismantles some ladders and retrieves another one from outside the ring. Big Show emerges from the mountain of steel ladders to rip a ladder in half and punish Jericho then Kane then Miz. Finally, he beats on Cena with heavy body shots. Show retrieves his special gold and black giant ladder from under the ring then begins the slow climb to the top. Kane gets a WMD for interfering and Cena a head shot for his troubles. Jericho stops the giant with multiple chair shots. Jericho locks a sleep on Cena at the top of the ladder but Cena refuses to pass out. Jericho finally drops the sleepy Cena off the ladder. Miz and Jericho battle over the briefcase at the top of the ladder. Show uses the WMD to knock Jericho and Miz off the ladder. Cena then bashes Show’s head in with the briefcase until it comes off the hook.

Winner: John Cena

So Cena wins the MIB at his first attempt (mock surprise mixed with a massive sigh of inevitability). A great match with Jericho and Miz the stand out performers. Does this mean we have a repeat of Cena and Punk from last year? I hope not because I won’t know who to boo more.