Hell In A Cell 2012

The Goldberg Phenomenon is eerily similar to the rise of Ryback

This PPV has been thrown into disarray because of the injury to Cena’s elbow. This has meant that Ryback has been shoved into the spotlight before I think WWE was ready. It also throws a spanner in the works for their plans for Rock/Cena/Punk at the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania. All that aside, I just hope that CM Punk loses. I know I say this every PPV but the time is now to take the title off Punk. The attempt to make him into a heal isn't working because he still gets more cheers than Cena despite the use of Paul Heyman. Unfortunately, I only see this ending with interference by someone (I don’t know... may be another former Heyman associate like Lesnar) that ends up costing Ryback the title. The other main event of Show and Sheamus will be plodding and not very entertaining because these two big guys aren't really a good match for each other. That being said, it is better than having another bloody title shot by Del Rio. The fact that WWE programming has been so boring of late that I am barely aware of the other matches on the card is testament to the poor state of WWE but Orton/Del Rio could be okay.

Opening video package hinting at the rumor that only Punk/Ryback will be in the cell with Sheamus/Show being a regular match and this is confirmed by Cole’s comments to start the broadcast. It seems the Viper and ADR will start the show.

Randy Orton vs Alberto Del Rio

Rodriguez has an extra long dellllllllllllllll Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooooooooooooooo for the fans. Brief rundown of the feud between the two men including the nice looking RKO on the announce table. Orton looks contemplative as he makes his way down to the ring, maybe still smarting from being off the card at the last PPV. JR talks about Orton being naked which is creepy

Orton starts off aggressively and takes it to the outside. He bounces ADR off the announce table and the ring post. Orton gets caught on the way back into the ring and ADR goes to work on the injured arm. ADR uses various holds to punish the arm, including a new one where he hangs off the ropes. ADR attempts to RKO Orton but is blocked. ADR then escapes from an RKO of his own off a back breaker. ADR then fails with a top rope move which looked quite botched. Orton refuses to tap to a cross arm breaker and catches ADR with an RKO off an attempted inziguri.

Winner: Randy Orton

This was a good match that had an expected ending. Orton needed a good win on PPV to kick start his return from injury/suspension and ADR is used to losing the matches that count. A few botches it seems but the ending was well done. I can see them going at it again and it being just as entertaining.

Michael Cole says something about John Cena, Vickie, Dolph, AJ Lee and Twitter.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Team Hell No vs The Rhode Scholars

The match starts with solid tag team action as the challengers initially working over Kane’s knee in their corner. Rhodes and Sandow look slick with some good quick tags. DBry tags in and rests back control. He lands a great suicide dive on Rhodes and Sandow on the outside but a distraction allows Sandow to regain control. They work over the shoulder but DBry gets the hot tag to Kane. A back body drop and a top line choke slam later and it should be all over. However, DBry tags himself back in and lands the Benoit head butt and once again it should be all over. Kane breaks up his own pin and the two fight in the ring. The Rhodes Scholar interfere and get thrown out of the ring for their pleasure. DBry accidentally hits Kane with his knees and Cody uses the distraction to hit the cross Rhodes. Kane breaks up the pin and then gets disqualified after not letting loose on both the Rhodes Scholars.

Winner by DQ: The Rhode Scholars

Kane choke slams Sandow as DBry looks on in disbelief.

The rejuvenation of the tag title division is in good hands with matches like this. The champions found a way to win and the Rhode Scholars looked strong despite losing. A few more teams like this will help lift this division back to its former glory.

Miz cuts a stupid sounding promo about doomsday and Kofi holding the intercontinental title.

Intercontinental Championship: Kofi Kingston vs The Miz

Miz starts off strongly and takes control on the outside of the ring. Then Miz uses the hair to retain control inside the ring. I love it when they start talking about how a rivalry has awoken the anger and intensity in Kofi because I hear it every year: against Orton, Dolph, the Miz, Jericho etc. The only problem is they never follow through on the momentum he builds and he just slides back down the mid card. They did the same thing with Shelton Benjamin and after enough years they just got rid of him. Kofi counters another running knee and is able to land a couple of top rope moves. Miz reverses the SOS into a neck breaker and Kofi reverses it into an SOS for a 2 count. Miz lands a nasty looking knee breaker on the top rope and he continues to attack the knee as he exposes the injured knee. Kofi lands some shots from the corner but gets toppled off the top rope for his trouble. Miz puts on a half Boston crab in the middle of the ring but Kofi rolls it into an inside cradle. Big DDT on Kofi gets a close 2. Skull crushing finale reversed into a roll up. Kofi misses the trouble in paradise and Miz attempts another skull crushing finale. Miz is kicked to the outside and Kofi catches him with the trouble in the paradise on the way back in.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

This was an entertaining and fast paced match. The Miz looked good despite being on the wrong end of the result. Now Kofi is talking about his wild cat as he thanks the Miz – apparently a shout out to HBK. Miz seems to be back in form and hopefully they have a nice program that leads to bigger things for Kofi.

Vegan candy and Halloween jokes between the tag team champions. I am the tag team champions!

The United States Championship: Antonio Cesaro vs Justin Gabriel

Cesaro minus Oksana takes control early with some great chain wrestling. Cole talks about Gabriel going surfing as he is knocked off the top rope by Cesaro. Cesaro continues to ground and pound Gabriel with gut wrenches and submission holds. Gabriel is unable to launch any offence and the little offence he hits is quickly subdued. JBL and Cole argue about how educated the WWE universe is. Top rope springboard moonsault gets a 2 count for Gabriel. We want Ryder chants break out as the crowd snooze through this match. Gabriel hits a nice looking DDT and also gets a 2 count. Gabriel rolls through an attempted 450 splash and lands another DDT for a 2 count. Cesaro lands a European upper cut as Gabriel attempts  a cross body on the outside. Neutralizer on Gabriel for the win.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro looked good during this match but the crowd were just not into it. This doesn't look good for Cesaro as he clearly can wrestle but without the crowd he isn't very marketable.

Ryback promo video: he’s hungry for Punk. Paul Heyman thanks Vickie for cancelling hell in a cell but he is mistaken apparently and is told where to go.

Random Tag Match: 619 Cara vs The Prime Time Players

Back and forth match: Titus and Darren overpowering the lucha libres with the occasional fast paced counter. Interesting interaction between Cole and JBL: JBL exasperated at Cole’s parroting of his lines. Meanwhile, JR talks about the coaching Mysterio provides to Sin Cara including how he makes him feel more comfortable in America. Maybe he can talk about how this makes HHH feel more comfortable: proving that Sin Cara is not a complete waste of time and money in WWE. Young is slow in following up a double team but uses his bulk to regain control. Delayed suplex by Titus as Rey looks on helpless. Fun fact: 619 Cara have each other’s masks on the back of their own masks. JR waxing lyrical on the merits of the abdominal stretch as a submission move. Titus trash talks a football team and Sin Cara misses a shoulder charge but prevents the tag. DDT to Titus and a hot tag to Mysterio before he unloads on Young with a DDT for a 2 count. Mysterio low bridges Titus out for Sin Cara to land a cross body. Darren is set up for the 619 and Rey wins it for 619 Cara.

Winners: 619 Cara

Sin Cara looks injured on the outside as JBL spruces the WWE medical staff. It looked like a nasty crunch on his head and neck so I wouldn't be surprised if he was out of action this week. A fun match with a good Face victory after being beaten down for most of the match. Another good example of the growing tag team division.

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs Big Show

Promo video: Brogue Kick vs the WMD. No cell at this point so it must just be a regular match. Cole calls Sheamus an all time great, a bit much for this early in his career. Sheamus is out first. Show is out next in his back hoodie. Main event introductions.

Show overpowers Sheamus early. Heavy body shots in the corners as JBL and JR basically say Sheamus has little chance of winning. Sheamus targets the knee so Show rolls to the outside. Shot of Ziggler waiting in the locker room: remember, he promised to cash in MITB after the match tonight. Sheamus is thrown to the outside after a sustained attack on Show in the corner. Show throws Sheamus into the barricade as he dominates on the outside. Show trash talks Sheamus as he keeps pounding away on him. Sheamus launched across the announce table into JR. Show drags Sheamus back to the ring and only gets a 2 count. Sheamus lands a few punches but is thrown to the outside with ease. Super Sheamus lands a few more shots but is caught in bear hug submission. JBL keeps talking about how unprepared Sheamus is to fight Show. Vader bomb on Sheamus as Show calls for the choke slam but it is reversed into a DDT. Strong kick out by Show as Sheamus is dragged head first into the ring. Sheamus takes advantages but is eventually caught with a choke slam: 2 count! Knees lead to an attempted clover leaf by Sheamus but Show takes the fight to the outside. Sheamus rams Show into the steel post and lands a double axe handle in the ring. White noise by Sheamus on Show but it only gets a 2 count. Show catches the Brogue kick and gets a WMD but Sheamus kicks out at 2! Another attempted WMD results in a brogue kick but this time Show kicks out! Sheamus attempts another brogue kick but Show side steps it into a WMD and the win!

Winner: Big Show (new world heavyweight champion)

Entertaining enough for 2 big men but the pace was too slow. Sheamus sold being beaten up well and his white noise on Show was incredible. Both men kicked out of each other’s finishers, which was good theater, and Sheamus can hold his head up high. JBL talks up the warrior Sheamus as he leaves the ring.

Booker T seems distraught at Sheamus’ condition. Teddy Long gets in Eve’s face as Ryder shows off his Halloween costume (wicked witch from Wizard of Oz). Teddy basically calls Eve a b$%#h as Santino impersonates Lady Gaga. Ron Simmons finishes off the skit with a Damn! Punk asks Vince to call off his match: no dice again.

WWE Divas Championship: Eve vs Kaitlyn vs Layla

Initially Kaitlyn and Layla team up on Eve. Eve works over an ankle submission on Kaitlyn before all 3 are in the ring. JBL pretty much buries the entire Divas division as Cole and JR go missing on commentary. He can’t even remember their names! Eve steals the pin after Kaitlyn lands her finished on Layla.

Winner: Eve

Interview with Big Show: 9 years of embarrassment is over and he dares anyone to come at him for the title. Sheamus in the medical room looking very injured.

WWE Championship: CM Punk vs Ryback (Hell in a Cell)

Promo video: the Punk championship reign meets a hungry Ryback. The cell lowers as feed me chants break out in the arena. Punk is out first with Heyman but both look reluctant. JR fun fact: Stone Cold never won a HIC match! JBL analysis: Punk’s monumental loss to Undertaker makes him prepared for this match. JBL fun fact: Tim White never refereed again after his HIC match! Goldberg chant. JR fun fact: first time winners in HIC include HBK and Batista! Main event introductions for both men.

Mixed reaction to Ryback but the feed me more chant is popular. Goldberg chant continues. Punk stalks around the outside of the ring and does his best to avoid Ryback. Ryback unleashed on Punk in the ring before tossing him to the outside. Punk tries to escape the cell but Ryback introduces him to the steel mesh (NB: very similar to Punk’s first HIC match, which he lost to Undertaker). Punk uses the fire extinguisher on Ryback thanks to a Heyman distraction and goes on the attack. Attempted chair shot meets Ryback’s boot as he tosses Punk back in the ring. Gorilla press on Punk as Ryback asks for more but misses a shot in the corner. Punk lands a top rope flying forearm and a double axe handle but is caught on his third time up. Suicide dive by Punk onto Ryback on the outside leads to a chair shot and neck breaker on Ryback. Punk takes control by avoiding Ryback as Ryback runs into the steel steps. Attempted submission by Punk is broken by brute strength as Ryback misses another shoulder charge. High running knee and clothesline by Punk followed up by the Macho Man elbow. Punk gets a kendo stick and taunts Ryback. Shots to Ryback only seem to make him stronger as Ryback regains control. Meat hook clothesline and he is about to land the shell shock when the referee low blows Ryback. Punk then rolls up Ryback and a quick count sees Punk retain the title.

Winner (by corrupt referee): CM Punk

Ryback destroys the referee and Punk in the cage. Heyman drags Punk out of the cell but Ryback isn’t finished. Punk climbs up the cage and Ryback follows him all the way up. Shell shock on top of the cage. Ryback standing upon the prone body of Punk to end the PPV.

Overall

Only 1 cell match but it was worth it. The only way for WWE out of their bind was to screw Ryback and the dodgy referee ensured that. The loss didn't make Ryback look bad and Punk’s attempts to squirm out of the match seemed justified. This means Ryback should get a rematch which might get tricky. Sheamus and Big Show wasn't awful and the end was entertaining. The tag matches were solid and help rebuild that particular vision. Overall a solid PPV but once again Punk is the champion. Honestly, I am thankful this is my last PPV for a while as the whole WWE creative unit is performing poorly at the moment. I don’t care for the titles because they have managed to make both champions seem lame.