Over The Limit 2012

We could fall asleep in the ring and still be better than Cena vs. Big Johnny

People Power Battle Royal (Winner chooses title match for Intercontinental or United States Champion)

Christian returns from injury. Yoshi Tatsu took a nasty spill on his ankle. I thought Regal had retired. Cole still being a tool on commentary and trash talking Regal and Booker T. The second of the Usos had the most obvious looking elimination, literally throwing himself over the top rope as did Darren Young. Cole claims this is the future of WWE: hopefully they don’t have too many Royal Rumbles as they will be atrocious at this rate. Otunga, Kidd, Miz and Christian last 4. Kidd impressive but eliminated trying to skin the cat. Christian beaten up 2 on 1. Christian eliminated Otunga. Christian spears Miz off the ring curtain for the win.

Winner: Christian

Exciting start to the night but some of the eliminations looked pretty awful and Christian’s comeback victory was easily telegraphed. Poor Miz: from WWE champion to guy you get step up wins over.

Johnny’s People Power Promo/Cena’s Anti-People Power Promo

WWE Tag Team Champions Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (Kofuth) vs. Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler (Swaggler)

Excuse me! Vicky wants her old GM job back. Blonde twins out first then the champion black haired twins out next with Lil’ Jimmy. I wonder how many times Kofi will be tag champion in his career? He doesn’t have the size to be main event despite his wrestling ability and WWE wasted the push he got after he beat Orton a few years back. Double team on Swagger and a styling leg drop by Truth. Ziggler takes control on Kofi and tags in Swagger. Corkscrew elbow after the hot tag to Truth before Vicky causes a distraction and Swaggler back in control. King can’t stop talking about Vicky’s dress, which is making me a bit sick. Booker criticising Kofi for not breaking up the pin after the double team. Truth hits the tornado DDT off the top rope on Swagger, hot tag to the excitable Kofi and a 2 count on Ziggler. Reversal of the situation with Truth breaking a Ziggler pin on Kofi. Trouble in paradise for the win.  

Winners: Kofuth

Swaggler looked good in this match and likely to take the titles but Kofuth pulled out the win. Hopefully they try to seriously build the tag team division and not just keep throwing together random teams.

Eve sends the heel tag team to confiscate anti-Johnny signs from the audience.

WWE Divas Champion Layla vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla was surprisingly dominant early on in the match before a nasty looking knee breaker and Beth wrapping Layla’s knee around the ring post. World’s slowest 10 count on the outside before Layla sells the knee injury in the middle of the ring. A horribly applied Boston crab by Beth was followed by some soft counters by Layla to continue this unexciting and poorly constructed match. Gorilla press by Beth into a DDT on Beth for a 2 count. Neck breaker out of nowhere and Layla retains the title.

Winner: Layla

A great example of why the Divas are getting worse. Layla can barely chain wrestle and I felt sorry for Beth having to carry her throughout the match. Bring back Kharma so Beth has someone to wrestle or at least put it on someone pretty like Kelly Kelly.

Orton interview with Striker interrupted by Jericho, who brags about beating everybody.

World Heavyweight Championship Fatal 4-Way Match

Del Rio (ADR) was out first in a $150,000 car followed by Jericho (J) in an expensive sparkle jacket then Orton (RKO) in only his wrestling gear and finally Sheamus (S) with an expensive gold belt (spot the odd one out). Main event announcement by Lillian, first time I’ve ever heard Del Rio announced not by Ricardo, and the crowd is nuts for Orton tonight. Sheamus/Del Rio and Orton/Jericho pair off and fight in/out of the ring. Orton and Sheamus face off before Sheamus low bridged out and thrown into the barricade. Del Rio/Jericho double team Orton before turning their attention to Sheamus’ shoulder. ADR and J start fighting after ADR attempts to pin RKO. J trash talks RKO after keeping S out of the ring once again. S knocks J and RKO off the top rope. S beats up ADR after a flying shoulder block. ADR regains the advantage with an inziguri after Ricardo distraction. Back and forth between ADR and S before J breaks it up. RKO power slam on J and S before elevated DDT on S. ADR puts the cross arm breaker on RKO before J breaks it up. Attempted finishers by RKO and S, double elevated DDT on ADR and Ricardo. Code breaker on RKO, cross arm breaker on J turned into the walls of Jericho. S misses brogue kick and J hits the code breaker for a 2 count. Walls on S, sitting it down before RKO to J and ADR then brogue kick to RKO then white noise to J for the retain. Randy looks pissed on the outside as Sheamus celebrates and Jericho remains out in the middle of the ring.

Winner: Sheamus

I like that the commentators spoke about the crap come back that Jericho has had. This just proves their point: he dominates the match and still can’t pick up the win. I am a huge Jericho fan and even I am thinking he is starting to look like a loser. Good on Sheamus for continuing his title reign but he doesn’t come out looking stronger: he was the one person to not dominate at any point and snuck in for the win at the end.

Cody complains about almost having a match and bad mouths Christian: surprise, surprise Christian changes his mind and will face Cody for the intercontinental title.

The Miz vs. Brodus Clay

Miz trash talks Brodus and suggests he is a better dancer... I didn’t realize the Miz had sunk this low. He does a decent thriller but out comes Brodus, who seems to be dancing less than when he started. Miz out powered early on and is rag tagged by Brodus. Miz reverses Brodus into the steel post on the outside to take control. Throw from the top rope and an earthquake for the win.

Winner: Brodus Clay

Somebody call Miz’s momma because his career is on the skids. The dance was awful and his match was not much better. I don’t know why he is being made to job so much because all the respect he may have made by being WWE champion is being wasted away now.

Reks and Hawkins take some signs from the crowd: martial law according to Cole.

Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Christian

Cody bad mouths his home town then Captain Charisma enters. Back and forth between Christian and Cody to start the match. Cody takes control on the outside after putting Christian into the steel steps. Cody wearing down Christian in the ring before a superplex takes out both men. Every time Christian mounts some offense, Cody quickly gets back in control. Tornado DDT reversed by Cody and he hits a moonsault for a 2. Cody mouths off about not having enough competition and gets caught by a kill switch for a new champion!

Winner: Christian

A nice welcome home present for Christian and Cody took a good heel loss here. Cody dominated here but Christian just held in there and pulled out the win. Hopefully these two can have a good little feud.

Interview with CM Punk about getting the crap beaten out of him by Kane because of Bryan. Punk imitates Vince not recognising Bryan/Punk 10 years ago. AJ breaks up the interview and gives Punk her sexy look.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan

Yes! Yes! Yes! It’s clobbering time! Main event introductions. Punk works on Bryan’s knee in the corner. Yes chant every time Bryan lands a kick. Punk continues to work on the knee with kicks and various submission moves. Bryan takes control on the outside by putting Punk into the barriers. Nasty looking abdominal stretch on Punk and a pin for 2. Surfboard submission on Punk into a dragon sleeper type hold (Punk bent like a pretzel backwards). Fisherman’s suplex for a 2 count on Bryan. Benoit head butt from Bryan on the top rope for a 2 count. Double cross body for a standing 10 count by the referee and Punk takes control. Bryan elevated to the outside and a suicide dive by Punk. Drop kick onto a flying Punk and Bryan is firing up: yes kicks to the ribs of Punk but reversed into a finger four on Bryan. Rope break and Bryan escapes the hold. Head kick for a close 2 count on Punk. Bryan crotched on the top rope before a flying clothesline and a 2 count. Bryan reverses a GTS into a roll up. Inziguri but foot on the rope saves Bryan. Macho man top rope flying elbow but cannot make the immediate cover due to his ribs. Bryan knees into Punk’s ribs to regain control but misses a kick. Bryan finally gets the yes lock on Punk but he rolls it through into a pin as he taps out AFTER the 3 count.

Winner: Punk

Awesome match between these two technicians! Reversals, submissions and a nice finish to the match as well. Unfortunately someone had to lose and I would have preferred to see that be CM Punk. Bryan looks like a chump once again: close but no cigar in a championship match. I wouldn’t be surprised to see these two go at it again because Punk did tap out in the end.

Mexican guys vs. Ryback

Goldberg entrance as per usual. This was the usual domination of the other guy so not much to say here.

Winner: Ryback

Feed me... How about fighting someone, who is actually decent, and then we’ll take you seriously.

John Cena vs. John Laurinaitis

Johnny is out first while Cole craps on about supporting him to the end. Green Cena is out next. Tight body suit on Johnny is laughable. Cena does some Big Show slaps on the exposed torso of Johnny. Cena is wasting too much time here: I smell a big show rat here... on aeroplane spins... on commentary... on a microphone... on getting a drink... using a fire extinguisher... taking out the trash... but Johnny starts working on Cena’s arm. Chair shots and a 2 count on Cena. Chair style 5 knuckle shuffle is countered with a low blow to Cena and Johnny tries to escape through the crowd. Johnny leaves the arena but Big Show drags him back to the ring. KO punch to Cena and Johnny picks up the win.

Winner: Big Johnny

It was a logical end to the match with the Big Show turning heel and giving Johnny the win. Apart from that a complete waste of time as Cena was boorish and it took 20 minutes too long.

Overall:

A good PPV considering the lame build up. The main event was the piece of crap it could only turn out to be but Punk/Bryan, the Fatal 4 Way and the Tag match were good. Punk and Bryan put on a wrestling clinic and showed that actual wrestling does draw a crowd. The Fatal 4 Way was exciting but the outcome was a bad call and does nothing to help push Sheamus or Del Rio. Finally, the tag team match had 4 good guys going at it. The Divas match was shocking as was the battle royal and Brodus Clay but none of this is new.

Extreme Rules 2012

Yes! Yes! Yes! I was at Wrestlemania 28... but only for a short while

Kane vs. Orton (Falls Count Anywhere)

Recap feud on Smackdown

Lead pipe used early, out into crowd, soft power slam by Kane on Orton on the concrete floor, fight into locker room, Zack Ryder interferes, Kane chucks a catering trolley at Orton’s head (clearly no concussion issues then!), Orton takes control as they head back to the ring, Orton goes chair crazy on Kane, Orton hits a DDT off the announce table, Orton superplex off the top rope, choke slam reversal off attempted RKO, RKO onto the chair after attempted tombstone onto the chair.

Winner: Orton

Kane jobs again after winning at Wrestlemania 28. 2 losses in a row to Orton so I assume this feud is over. Does this clear Orton for a run at the title? Who can Kane lose to next?

Johnny and Eve make fun of Teddy. Love the giant name tag on Teddy.

Funkasaurus w/ Hornswoggle vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vikcy and suited up Jack Swagger

PPV debut match for Brodus? I was watching him from a year ago as Del Rio’s body guard and he was so much more menacing. I hate how they claim Ziggler was a former world champion. How long was it? 5 minutes on a Smackdown episode? Ziggler gets the upper hand with interference by Swagger and good offense by Ziggler. Splash and 3 count for Brodus.

Winner: Funkasaurus

Intercontinental Championship: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes (Tables Match)

Everyone hates Teddy... even Cody Rhodes!

Recap Wrestlemania 28 match with extended highlights.

Show all slap happy on Cody. Show shuts down every minor attack by Rhodes. Show accidently steps through a table and loses the title. LOL! You could see it coming a mile off but clever end to the match especially because they were saying there was no way Cody could win. Show puts Cody through a couple of tables just for fun.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

Reminds me of Sheamus’ win over Cena when Cena fell through the table at TLC a couple of years back. Love Cole talking up the heel ridiculously.

Daniel Bryan interview with Matt Striker: he has a cooler beard! Yes! Yes! Yes! AJ looking sad and lonely

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan (2 out of 3 Falls)

Recap of AJ bashing and angry Sheamus on Smackdown

Fall 1

Sheamus out wrestles Bryan in the early stages with a surprise submission hold (Texas Clover Leaf?). Let’s Go Bryan vs. 18 Seconds chant going. Bryan grounds Sheamus with an arm bar/shoulder submission. Sheamus hits some quick, power moves to regain control. Drop toe hold and Bryan back in control. Bryan softening up Sheamus’ shoulder around the ring post for the Yes lock. Bryan won’t stop kicking Sheamus’ shoulder when in the ropes. Ref DQs Bryan.

Winner: Sheamus by DQ (Sheamus 1 – Bryan 0)

Fall 2

Bryan drop kick and locks in the Yes lock. Sheamus passes out. Fall to Bryan.

Winner: Bryan (Sheamus 1 – Bryan 1)

Fall 3

Yes chant led by Bryan as doctors check out Sheamus. Cole amazed at strategy? Clearly hasn’t seen many iron man matches then because it is classic heel strategy. Sheamus wants to continue. Brogue kick out of nowhere to Bryan and slow cover – 2 count! Solid inziguri to Sheamus – 2! Bryan misses with the Benoit head butt. Brogue kick and the final fall.

Winner: Sheamus (Sheamus 2 – Bryan 1)

I didn’t think that WWE would be smart enough to go with the popular Bryan but a good match to lose regardless. Sheamus looked tough and Bryan showed why he was a former champion. Let’s hope he can continue to stay at the top of the pile as he has proven that he belong there!

Jobbers on TV as Santino watches with Kahli

Chatty Jobbers vs. Ryback

Stop talking you fools! Can someone squash these guys already! 2>1 except if you fight Ryback. LOL: Goldberg chant. Ryback dismantles both jobbers with every finishing move he has and pins both jobbers at once.

Winner: Ryback

Matt Striker interviews CM Punk: home town reminiscences

WWE Championship: CM Punks vs. Chris Jericho (Chicago Street Fight)

Recap of drinking and shenanigans on Raw

Singapore cane leads to ECW chant as Punk dominates early. Thumb to the eye allows Jericho to hit some offense on the outside. Jericho exposes the turn buckle as fight continues in the ring. Punk’s ‘sister’ slaps Jericho and allows Punk to go back on the attack. Punk clears the announce tables and puts Jericho through a table cover. Jericho uses a TV monitor and table cover on Punk. Still wondering: what makes a Chicago street fight different from other street fights? Punk slips on ropes during springboard. Jericho gets a beer can from under the ring: anyone for a drink? Jericho wants a second drink. Punk would prefer some kendo stick strikes instead. GTS and Walls of Jericho reversed. Jericho crotches Punk (happened in almost every match tonight!). Punk hits the macho man elbow from the top rope. Lionsault reversed into GTS reversed into Irish whip into the chair. Jericho hits code breaker into lion tamer/walls on Punk. Punk reaches ropes, grabs fire extinguisher and blinds Jericho and uses it as a weapon. Punk from the top rope through Jericho on the Spanish announce table (that’s a big jump and he only just made it). 2 count rolled through into anaconda vice but broken with kendo stick to the skull. This is awesome chant from the crowd. Code breaker onto the chair – 2! Jericho attempts a GTS on Punk, reversed into catapult onto exposed turn buckle and Punk hits the GTS for the win.

Winner: Punk

Good match with a decent use of weapons and some nice reversals. The spot through the Spanish announce table was dangerous and the end apt. But this still begs the question: why bring back Jericho only to lose at the Rumble, Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania? Apparently he has a tour of Europe coming up but his comeback has been totally ruined. It’s not that he has wrestled badly: his matches have been good and the last two PPV matches with Punk have been entertaining but he has now lost all credibility as a main event talent. He clearly won’t win the championship any time soon so why should I care about him? This is a sad turn of events for one of the best wrestlers around today.

Divas Championship: Bella Twin vs. Layla

Layla is returning after a bad knee injury that kept her out for a year: I didn’t notice she was gone. Is she still a heel? The flawless jacket is still there so I hope so. This match reminds me why the Divas are so crap: they can barely chain wrestle. Layla hits the neck breaker on the other twin for the win.

Winner:  Layla

Not sure why they denied Beth a chance to take the longest reign of this championship for this dull fare.

Matt Striker fails to get the scoop on Johnny’s chat with HHH. HHH is back on RAW: he must be feeling unloved as he needs to show everyone up on TV.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules – anything goes)

Video recap of feud: Brock is a self ass who doesn’t like Cena. Maybe he should learn to rise above hate. Is this his heel turn? Can Edge reinvigorate the leader of the Cenation?

Competing Cena chants. Commentators discuss how Lesnar shouldn’t crap in his own back yard. Cena comes out with a chain: that means he is ready to fight! Lesnar ground and pound on Cena and busts him open early. Looks like Lesnar thinks he is still in an UFC ring as Cena gets medical attention. They replay the shots that cut him open: those were vicious elbows to the head. German suplexes to Cena and ref bump. Arm bar by Lesnar to further brutalise Cena. Lesnar grabs the chain but doesn’t need it. Now he uses the chains to tie up Cena’s legs and into a big clothes line. Lesnar hangs Cena up on the ring post and works on his shoulder further. Cena hits two punches and is once again tossed aside. Lesnar throws the ref back into the ring. AA reversed into an F5 but ref bump only for 2! Lesnar beats up the new ref and introduces the steel steps. Arm and shoulder submission on Cena but Lesnar lifted up and slammed on steps. Cena from the top rope misses a leg drop as Lesnar recovers. Lesnar blows out knee charging at Cena but Cena has the chain in his hands. KO punch to Lesnar with the chain. AA on steps for the 3 count!

Winner: Cena

Not sure this was the best outcome. Lesnar was dominant but super Cena once again pulls out the win. Maybe Lesnar is leaving soon after all because this makes him look like an idiot. Cena makes an I’m going to be fired speech (or maybe I’m badly injured speech).

Be afraid, be very afraid!

Be careful! My political opinions may not agree with the majority!

I have been shaking my head baffled for the last half hour. Utterly confused at the over the top and ridiculous reaction to Bob Katter’s Australia Party advertisement on gay marriage. To view the advertisement, go to this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY8N2xSU3c0

I have watched it at least half a dozen times by the time I write this, each time trying to find the outrageous and homophobic slurs this advertisement contains. Did I find any?

I think I did. At one point it says: “Do you really think he [Campbell Newman] will stand up to minority groups?” in front of a picture of two gay men before stating: “That’s right, he supports gay marriage!” Thus, I can imagine that minority groups (not just homosexual couples) could feel affronted that they need standing up to. Even more affronting, it’s by a well known crazy politician that could be labelled a red neck and is often ridiculed for his unusual antics. In fact, the more I look at it the more concerned I am.

[It is ironic that Katter wants to stand up to minorities when his opinion on gay marriage has been proven to be a minority one. Does that mean he will need to stand up to himself? If anyone could do it, I’m sure Bob could.]

Also, the image they use could be offensive. Yes, an image of two gay men, one clearly older than the other. Does this not represent homosexual couples? Is it offensive because it only shows men? Is that pixilation of the image some sort of hidden message about the abhorrent nature of their relationship? Are all gay couples like this? Who knows? But the fact that I have to read so much into the image with no words or voice over condemning them (NB: the worst the advertisement implies is that is threatens family values – see Julia Gillard’s statements below on that issue) makes me wonder is it really that scary?

Indeed, the fact that Katter will be lucky to get 10% of the vote and even hold the balance of power makes this whole debate even scarier. He is a fringe politician with a small niche constituency that the advertisement clearly plays to. Does it mean he dislikes gay marriage? Clearly it does. Does it mean he should be harangued by media and receive hate mail? I think not.

Let us remember back to what Julia Gillard had to say on the issue:

“I think that there are some important things from our past that need to continue to be part of our present and part of our future. If I was in a different walk of life, if I'd continued in the law and was partner of a law firm now, I would express the same view, that I think for our culture, for our heritage, the Marriage Act and marriage being between a man and a woman has a special status.

Now, I know people might look at me and think that's something that they wouldn't necessarily expect me to say, but that is what I believe.

I'm on the record as saying things like I think it's important for people to understand their Bible stories, not because I'm an advocate of religion - clearly, I'm not - but once again, what comes from the Bible has formed such an important part of our culture." (Downloaded from http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/pm-julia-gillard-gay-marriage-against-my-upbringing/story-e6freuy9-1226025009815 on March 12, 2012)

So our PM feels that gay marriage shouldn’t be legal because “I think for our culture, for our heritage, the Marriage Act and marriage being between a man and a woman has a special status.” The same PM who stated that:

“The Greens will never embrace Labor's delight at sharing the values of everyday Australians, in our cities, suburbs, towns and bush, who day after day do the right thing, leading purposeful and dignified lives, driven by love of family and nation” (Downloaded from http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/greens-dont-share-aussie-values-pm/story-fn7x8me2-1226031649495 on March 12, 2012)

Thus she too is against gay marriage and implies that Greens policies, like gay marriage, are against “the values of everyday Australians”. Yet do we have this level of vitriol and hatred directed against her despite the fact that she refuses to support the gay marriage bill if it was presented to the parliament. That’s right, a big fat no.

Do I agree with gay marriage? Yes, I do. Do I agree with Bob Katter opposing gay marriage? No, I don’t. But the point is that Bob Katter has a right to have a policy that opposes gay marriage. The fact is that in a democracy some people will disagree with you but this is ultimately a good thing. Katter has raised the issue of gay marriage and there should be a genuine debate on the issue. That means listening to all sides of the argument, even those who oppose gay marriage, without resorting to over the top denunciations. Sarah Hanson-Young has clearly been taking populist political lessons from Tony Abbott with her ridiculous claims that the advertisement should be pulled off the air.

So I am quite scared but not about Bob Katter’s advertisement. I’m scared about people who are afraid of a democracy in which people can hold minority opinions.

Elimination Chamber & Wrestlemania Musings

Did you say something about me on Twitter?

Due to my laziness in not posting soon as Elimination Chamber finished, here is a briefer summary of Elimination Chamber and some thoughts on Wrestlemania 28.

Elimination Chamber 2012

World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan won the SmackDown Elimination Chamber Match

This was the less entertaining of the two elimination chamber matches but with people such as Big Show and The Great Khali involved this really wasn’t a surprise. Khali’s involvement was mercifully short but provoked the question: why include him in the first place for 30 seconds of in-ring action? Big Show climbing into Bryan’s pod was interesting and made sense with their recent feud. The only excitement came when it looked like Santino might win the match with a cobra but Bryan thankfully made him tap out. Overall, some good spots with a nice win for Bryan.

WWE Champion CM Punk won the Raw Elimination Chamber Match

This was the first match of the night and started off nicely with Punk and Kofi going at it. This was much faster than the SmackDown match and thus far more interesting. Jericho dominated before being concussed by Punk while Punk defeated Miz to retain the title. For all the apparent heat Miz is receiving he performed well and showed why he deserves to be in the main event. While WWE argue that they are keeping Jericho from losing to Punk, the end was lame and clearly looked like a work.

John Cena def. Kane (Ambulance Match)

For two generally boring wrestlers this was an entertaining match. The two went at it over the arena with an AA off the top of the ambulance to end the match for Cena. It ends the Cena/Kane feud with Cena not embracing the hate but by this point did anyone really care?

United States Champion Jack Swagger def. Justin Gabriel

Missed this match as I was getting a drink and it seems it wasn’t much to write about anyway.

Divas Champion Beth Phoenix def. Tamina Snuka

Tamina needs to develop some more moves apart from the superfly splash. The fact that she went for it every third move indicated clearly she wasn’t going to win and when Beth kicked out it made it look weak. Beth is an awesome champion but WWE needs to seriously build the women’s division or just get rid of it.

Wrestlemania 28

As the year’s biggest event rolls round it seems WWE is trying its best to build excitement for Rock/Cena and Taker/HHH. Unfortunately, as a member of the IWC recently stated, the Cena/Rock feud has been going for a year and the most fighting has occurred on Twitter. That’s right; the most interesting reason they have to fight is that they troll each other on a social networking site! This sounded lame when Rock interfered at WM last year and isn’t getting any better. The match itself should be good because the Rock will lift Cena to new heights but I wish the WWE would stop trying to make the reason behind it seem important when it clearly isn’t.

Similar things could be said about HHH/Taker. Firstly, Taker doesn’t appear for one year and decides to challenge HHH at WM28. Surprising? No but then again everyone knew Taker would have a match in Florida. Secondly, HHH can’t stay away from the spotlight. He claims he wants to build up other talent but then makes his match the co-main event at WM28 thus relegating the championship matches to mere afterthoughts. The Hell in a Cell stipulation will make a fitting end to both their careers and will be a great match but once again with no help from WWE creative.

The stupid thing about this is that the championship matches are going to be great. Jericho/Punk will be a great wrestling match and Sheamus/Bryan will be a fitting reward for two hard workers. Firstly, Jericho’s return has been completely screwed up by WWE creative: he doesn’t win the rumble, doesn’t win the elimination chamber and just seems like a whinging has been. If this was their aim then kudos but one can’t help but think they held off on giving Jericho the title too long and now his return seems unimportant and pointless. His match with Punk will be great because those two can wrestle the house down and hopefully they can show the powers that be what WWE should be about. As for Bryan/Sheamus, Bryan’s heel turn has been awesome and he will go into WM28 as champion much to most people’s surprise. Sheamus’ build has been pointless and slow: he wins the rumble and hasn’t had a real feud to keep him busy apart from routinely burying Mark Henry. Bryan win or lose at WM has had a longer and better run than many suspected. He has proved that smaller guys can carry the belt and I suspect AJ might help him retain the belt.

Mesmerising

Williams as Monroe is mesmerising

My knowledge of Marilyn Monroe prior to My Week with Marilyn was pitifully limited to an Elton John song used in a McDonalds’ commercial. She was the candle in the wind: used up and spat out by Hollywood and eternally misunderstood. While my knowledge of Marilyn hasn’t increased much, apart from her marriage to Arthur Miller, I do have a new found interest in her career.

Michelle Williams plays the lead as Marilyn Monroe with Eddie Redmayne as her infatuated rich kid Colin Clark. The movie is based on the real Colin Clark’s memoirs of his experience as he worked with Monroe and Sir Laurence Olivier (superbly played by Kenneth Branagh) on the set of the film The Sleeping Prince. Colin becomes Marilyn’s emotional support on the set as the tumultuous filming occurs with him eventually succumbing to her charms and ending up broken hearted.

The challenge for film makers was always to make Williams the star and as mesmerising as the real Monroe was on film. As far as this goes, they succeeded handsomely with Williams dominating every scene she is in and capturing the spirit of Monroe in one of the best biopic portrayals in recent times. Her charisma is well balanced with her fragility and always with a dash of sexual allure. Branagh is also excellent as the aging star Sir Lawrence Olivier. His crotchety demeanour is slowly revealed to be sheer terror as he sees his career slowly fading away and this provides a stark contrast to the short life we know Monroe experienced.

The one disappointment was the geriatric cast and performance of Redmayne. To the latter, I know he was meant to be naive and young but he was just plain annoying. His puppy dog eyes and inane promises capture the public’s infatuation with Marilyn but ultimately make him a pain to watch. Moreover, the who’s who of British actors who fill the bit parts was equally dismal. Dame Judy Dench’s small role is thankfully limited while the rest of the cast aren’t really worth mentioning. On reflection, this may be a result of Williams’ star shining so bright but having lesser lights in these roles would have made this less obvious.

As biopic film features go this was one of the best recent attempts. While our narrator is an annoying, rich, twat, Williams shines as Monroe and delivers a mesmerising and ravishing performance that was worthy of an Oscar.

Royal Rumble 2012 - A Ginger Surprise

The first read head to win the rumble?

World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan def. Big Show and Mark Henry (Triple Threat Steel Cage Match)

The big question coming into this match was whether Daniel Bryan would be given a longer run with the title or whether Mark Henry would take the strap. The steel cage stipulation made me favour the former and I was pleasantly surprised that Bryan once again escaped with the title. Show and Henry did a good job of beating up Bryan while he attempted to escape any chance he got. The finish was clever with Show unable to prevent Bryan from dropping to the floor. The one disappointment was the lack of action by Henry, who still might be injured, as Show was the only one that hit any convincing offense.

John Cena Promo

Didn’t we realise that Cena was such a caring and compassionate superstar? Or did we need to be reminded how passionate he is about wrestling? Either way, it was well put together and played well to Cena fans.

Divas Champion Beth Phoenix, Natalya & The Bella Twins def. Eve, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox & Tamina

My question about this match was: why waste time on this when the world heavyweight championship match could have gone for longer? Booker T calling the fight a “Diva-brook” was the best part of the match as the Kelly Kelly top rope dive was clearly telegraphed and wasn’t even very athletic. With Kharma returning in the rumble match, Beth destroying Kelly Kelly at the end set up Kharma as the next challenger but apart from that not much here.

John Cena vs. Kane (Double Count Out)

I’m surprised Cena used Benoit’s finisher the Crippler Crossface submission in this match that was pedestrian from both superstars. Kane choked and beat up Cena before inexplicably stopping just as he went to super-plex Cena from the top rope thus leading to the Cena come back. They then fought outside the ring to a double count-out and through to the back. Kane then attacked broken back (no sorry, just herniated disc) Zack Ryder and brought him back to the ring. He then destroyed Zack with a tombstone and Cena with a choke slam. It sets up the two for a match next pay-per-view but hopefully they can do more in ring and not rely on post-match antics to save them.

The Rock Promo

This promo was meant to show that the Rock was both a movie star and wrestler: cue copious gym work and shots of his toned upper body. He harped on about never really leaving the WWE and shining bright at Wrestlemania – yawn.

Brodus Clay def. Drew McIntyre

I read on a IWC post speculating about how they would work the Funkosaurus’ dance into the show and this was it. Clay squashed McIntyre after about 1 minute of offense and just kept dancing. The only surprise was that William Regal didn’t make an appearance to promote the feud.

WWE Champion CM Punk def. Dolph Ziggler (Special Guest Referee John Laurinaitis)

This was the best non-rumble match of the night. Johnny put himself outside the ring to seem impartial and even evicted Vicky as per the match on RAW a few weeks ago. Ziggler once again looked like main event material in this match with some of his offense but never seriously looked like he might pull out the win. The end was well booked with a ref bump and Johnny costing Punk the win after the anaconda vise, a roll up and a couple of GTSs, especially when Punk called Johnny “clown shoes”. Johnny then helped the ref with the 3 count after Punk kicked out of a zig zag and hit a final GTS. [Funnily, this is an almost identical end to the HBK vs British Bulldog WWE championship match with Mr Perfect as special guest referee at the King of the Ring pay-per-view in 1996.] Punk celebrated the win and Johnny just walked away.

Sheamus won the 30-Man Royal Rumble Match

With all the press surrounding Miz and him entering #1, the first half of rumble match was him and Cody Rhodes beating up clear non-winners. Some of the funnier moments were: Ricardo Rodriguez coming out as Del Rio; Mr Socko (Foley) vs. The Cobra (Santino); all the announcers entering the rumble; Kofi Kingston handstand walking back to the ring; and the return of Kharma. By the time Road Dogg came out, it looked like Miz might go all the way but when Show came in at #30, he cleared house and put an end to that. The final four had Show, Orton, Jericho and Sheamus squaring off. After a thunderous RKO to Show, Orton eliminated Show and was promptly up ended by Jericho. Jericho and Sheamus had some near wins but eventually a Brogue kick saw Jericho enter and leave at #29.

The interesting thing about this outcome is that it seems to contradict many predictions about Wrestlemania. Most IWC commentators had either Jericho winning and facing Punk at Wrestlemania or Orton winning in his home town and facing Bryan at Wrestlemania. This might be a deliberate swerve by WWE as it seems that one of those outcomes is now scuttled. They might have Sheamus putting his title opportunity on the line like Mysterio did against Orton but that would seem illogical and Sheamus has worked hard to earn his Wrestlemania moment. Other options could be: Jericho is no longer going to headline Wrestlemania (maybe he could win the Money in the Bank match which he created and get the title of Punk like that) or Orton might need more time off after his back injury. Either way, it was refreshing to see Sheamus win despite Jericho yet to win a rumble in his storied career and he will be good at Wrestlemania.

Overall this was one of the better pay-per-views in the past year or so. The rumble was fun because it was shorter, had some fun story lines and a serious end. Punk retained the title with Johnny Ace calling it straight in a strong match for Ziggler while Bryan retained the title in a match that reinforces his strong run with the title at the moment. Kane/Cena was predictably poor in terms of wrestling but continued the story line coherently and logically. The other matches were typical filler material. As usual, WWE has its thinking caps on leading up to Wrestlemania: may it continue up to Florida and beyond.

Go see it for the Dog!

Young Adult

The tag line for this ‘comedy’ is: “Everyone gets old. Not everyone grows up.” It neatly sums up this Jason Reitman film but it is also the film’s weakness: the characters may not have grown up but the audience has.

This is not the first outing for the duo of Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody. The two combined successfully to create the comedy Juno that tackled the issue of teen pregnancy and not growing up too quickly. More recently he directed current Oscar favourite George Clooney in the adult romance Up in the Air. While both these films are fun and engaging, watching them back on DVD I started questioning why I had enjoyed them so much to start with. The problem was the pacing: at the cinema, hostage to my $15 ticket and captive in my seat, I was willing to ride out some boredom for a decent film. In the comfort of my own home I just wanted to hit fast forward. Unfortunately, this time I was hostage to my $15 ticket and in a packed cinema: with Young Adult there was no escape!

Young Adult is about ghost writer Mavis Gary, played by perennial Oscar favourite Charlize Theron. Mavis is an alcoholic, Diet Coke guzzling, reality TV junky, struggling to finish the last of an increasingly unpopular series of Young Adult (YA) novels. Upon receiving an email from an ex-boyfriend, she decides to return home and try and win him back. Already the shallowness of the plot was starting to worry me: at least Juno had a baby and was experiencing real problems. Instead, we follow Mavis as she checks into a hotel with dog in tow and goes about winning back her high school boyfriend from his wife and newly born baby.

For the next hour and a half the audience is subjected to the shameless flirting of Mavis that is both pathetic and lacks any of the promised comedy. In fact, the dog doesn’t have any lines but elicited more laughs in the cinema than any of the characters. Moreover, the plot fails to develop past these threadbare premises until right on cue, the third act begins with the obvious message of the film in the clichéd drunken excursion to the woods: you need to move on from the past and grow up.

And this is the heart of this film’s failure: Diablo Cody forgot that the audience of Young Adult were in fact adults and that they could handle something a little more complicated. One of the reviews claims this is “Juno’s wicked older sister” but at least Juno had something important to say about life, whereas Mavis only exists between alcohol fuelled day dreams of high school romance. Moreover, she is encouraged in these hedonistic and apathetic pursuits by one of the minor character who states that the small town folk are “nothing” and that “they may as well die” thus absolving her of guilt for wanting to wreck a happy marriage and validating her empty life.

I don’t know what happened in the script writing process that this occurred or whether Reitman just couldn’t be bothered bringing some sense to this story. The entire film instead validates the existence of the small town folk as fulfilled and enjoying their lives while the big city star is the one who wants for rewarding relationships and purpose. Then maybe again I’m reading too much into the film. Or perhaps that was the point all along and I was too annoyed at wasting my money on it to see that. Either way, someone screwed the pooch on this one.