Extreme Rules 2012

Yes! Yes! Yes! I was at Wrestlemania 28... but only for a short while

Kane vs. Orton (Falls Count Anywhere)

Recap feud on Smackdown

Lead pipe used early, out into crowd, soft power slam by Kane on Orton on the concrete floor, fight into locker room, Zack Ryder interferes, Kane chucks a catering trolley at Orton’s head (clearly no concussion issues then!), Orton takes control as they head back to the ring, Orton goes chair crazy on Kane, Orton hits a DDT off the announce table, Orton superplex off the top rope, choke slam reversal off attempted RKO, RKO onto the chair after attempted tombstone onto the chair.

Winner: Orton

Kane jobs again after winning at Wrestlemania 28. 2 losses in a row to Orton so I assume this feud is over. Does this clear Orton for a run at the title? Who can Kane lose to next?

Johnny and Eve make fun of Teddy. Love the giant name tag on Teddy.

Funkasaurus w/ Hornswoggle vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vikcy and suited up Jack Swagger

PPV debut match for Brodus? I was watching him from a year ago as Del Rio’s body guard and he was so much more menacing. I hate how they claim Ziggler was a former world champion. How long was it? 5 minutes on a Smackdown episode? Ziggler gets the upper hand with interference by Swagger and good offense by Ziggler. Splash and 3 count for Brodus.

Winner: Funkasaurus

Intercontinental Championship: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes (Tables Match)

Everyone hates Teddy... even Cody Rhodes!

Recap Wrestlemania 28 match with extended highlights.

Show all slap happy on Cody. Show shuts down every minor attack by Rhodes. Show accidently steps through a table and loses the title. LOL! You could see it coming a mile off but clever end to the match especially because they were saying there was no way Cody could win. Show puts Cody through a couple of tables just for fun.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

Reminds me of Sheamus’ win over Cena when Cena fell through the table at TLC a couple of years back. Love Cole talking up the heel ridiculously.

Daniel Bryan interview with Matt Striker: he has a cooler beard! Yes! Yes! Yes! AJ looking sad and lonely

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan (2 out of 3 Falls)

Recap of AJ bashing and angry Sheamus on Smackdown

Fall 1

Sheamus out wrestles Bryan in the early stages with a surprise submission hold (Texas Clover Leaf?). Let’s Go Bryan vs. 18 Seconds chant going. Bryan grounds Sheamus with an arm bar/shoulder submission. Sheamus hits some quick, power moves to regain control. Drop toe hold and Bryan back in control. Bryan softening up Sheamus’ shoulder around the ring post for the Yes lock. Bryan won’t stop kicking Sheamus’ shoulder when in the ropes. Ref DQs Bryan.

Winner: Sheamus by DQ (Sheamus 1 – Bryan 0)

Fall 2

Bryan drop kick and locks in the Yes lock. Sheamus passes out. Fall to Bryan.

Winner: Bryan (Sheamus 1 – Bryan 1)

Fall 3

Yes chant led by Bryan as doctors check out Sheamus. Cole amazed at strategy? Clearly hasn’t seen many iron man matches then because it is classic heel strategy. Sheamus wants to continue. Brogue kick out of nowhere to Bryan and slow cover – 2 count! Solid inziguri to Sheamus – 2! Bryan misses with the Benoit head butt. Brogue kick and the final fall.

Winner: Sheamus (Sheamus 2 – Bryan 1)

I didn’t think that WWE would be smart enough to go with the popular Bryan but a good match to lose regardless. Sheamus looked tough and Bryan showed why he was a former champion. Let’s hope he can continue to stay at the top of the pile as he has proven that he belong there!

Jobbers on TV as Santino watches with Kahli

Chatty Jobbers vs. Ryback

Stop talking you fools! Can someone squash these guys already! 2>1 except if you fight Ryback. LOL: Goldberg chant. Ryback dismantles both jobbers with every finishing move he has and pins both jobbers at once.

Winner: Ryback

Matt Striker interviews CM Punk: home town reminiscences

WWE Championship: CM Punks vs. Chris Jericho (Chicago Street Fight)

Recap of drinking and shenanigans on Raw

Singapore cane leads to ECW chant as Punk dominates early. Thumb to the eye allows Jericho to hit some offense on the outside. Jericho exposes the turn buckle as fight continues in the ring. Punk’s ‘sister’ slaps Jericho and allows Punk to go back on the attack. Punk clears the announce tables and puts Jericho through a table cover. Jericho uses a TV monitor and table cover on Punk. Still wondering: what makes a Chicago street fight different from other street fights? Punk slips on ropes during springboard. Jericho gets a beer can from under the ring: anyone for a drink? Jericho wants a second drink. Punk would prefer some kendo stick strikes instead. GTS and Walls of Jericho reversed. Jericho crotches Punk (happened in almost every match tonight!). Punk hits the macho man elbow from the top rope. Lionsault reversed into GTS reversed into Irish whip into the chair. Jericho hits code breaker into lion tamer/walls on Punk. Punk reaches ropes, grabs fire extinguisher and blinds Jericho and uses it as a weapon. Punk from the top rope through Jericho on the Spanish announce table (that’s a big jump and he only just made it). 2 count rolled through into anaconda vice but broken with kendo stick to the skull. This is awesome chant from the crowd. Code breaker onto the chair – 2! Jericho attempts a GTS on Punk, reversed into catapult onto exposed turn buckle and Punk hits the GTS for the win.

Winner: Punk

Good match with a decent use of weapons and some nice reversals. The spot through the Spanish announce table was dangerous and the end apt. But this still begs the question: why bring back Jericho only to lose at the Rumble, Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania? Apparently he has a tour of Europe coming up but his comeback has been totally ruined. It’s not that he has wrestled badly: his matches have been good and the last two PPV matches with Punk have been entertaining but he has now lost all credibility as a main event talent. He clearly won’t win the championship any time soon so why should I care about him? This is a sad turn of events for one of the best wrestlers around today.

Divas Championship: Bella Twin vs. Layla

Layla is returning after a bad knee injury that kept her out for a year: I didn’t notice she was gone. Is she still a heel? The flawless jacket is still there so I hope so. This match reminds me why the Divas are so crap: they can barely chain wrestle. Layla hits the neck breaker on the other twin for the win.

Winner:  Layla

Not sure why they denied Beth a chance to take the longest reign of this championship for this dull fare.

Matt Striker fails to get the scoop on Johnny’s chat with HHH. HHH is back on RAW: he must be feeling unloved as he needs to show everyone up on TV.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules – anything goes)

Video recap of feud: Brock is a self ass who doesn’t like Cena. Maybe he should learn to rise above hate. Is this his heel turn? Can Edge reinvigorate the leader of the Cenation?

Competing Cena chants. Commentators discuss how Lesnar shouldn’t crap in his own back yard. Cena comes out with a chain: that means he is ready to fight! Lesnar ground and pound on Cena and busts him open early. Looks like Lesnar thinks he is still in an UFC ring as Cena gets medical attention. They replay the shots that cut him open: those were vicious elbows to the head. German suplexes to Cena and ref bump. Arm bar by Lesnar to further brutalise Cena. Lesnar grabs the chain but doesn’t need it. Now he uses the chains to tie up Cena’s legs and into a big clothes line. Lesnar hangs Cena up on the ring post and works on his shoulder further. Cena hits two punches and is once again tossed aside. Lesnar throws the ref back into the ring. AA reversed into an F5 but ref bump only for 2! Lesnar beats up the new ref and introduces the steel steps. Arm and shoulder submission on Cena but Lesnar lifted up and slammed on steps. Cena from the top rope misses a leg drop as Lesnar recovers. Lesnar blows out knee charging at Cena but Cena has the chain in his hands. KO punch to Lesnar with the chain. AA on steps for the 3 count!

Winner: Cena

Not sure this was the best outcome. Lesnar was dominant but super Cena once again pulls out the win. Maybe Lesnar is leaving soon after all because this makes him look like an idiot. Cena makes an I’m going to be fired speech (or maybe I’m badly injured speech).