We could fall asleep in the ring and still be better than Cena vs. Big Johnny
People Power Battle Royal (Winner chooses title match for
Intercontinental or United States Champion)
Christian returns from injury. Yoshi Tatsu took a nasty
spill on his ankle. I thought Regal had retired. Cole still being a tool on
commentary and trash talking Regal and Booker T. The second of the Usos had the
most obvious looking elimination, literally throwing himself over the top rope
as did Darren Young. Cole claims this is the future of WWE: hopefully they don’t
have too many Royal Rumbles as they will be atrocious at this rate. Otunga,
Kidd, Miz and Christian last 4. Kidd impressive but eliminated trying to skin
the cat. Christian beaten up 2 on 1. Christian eliminated Otunga. Christian
spears Miz off the ring curtain for the win.
Winner: Christian
Exciting start to the
night but some of the eliminations looked pretty awful and Christian’s comeback
victory was easily telegraphed. Poor Miz: from WWE champion to guy you get step
up wins over.
Johnny’s People Power Promo/Cena’s Anti-People Power Promo
WWE Tag Team Champions Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (Kofuth) vs. Jack
Swagger & Dolph Ziggler (Swaggler)
Excuse me! Vicky wants her old GM job back. Blonde twins out
first then the champion black haired twins out next with Lil’ Jimmy. I wonder
how many times Kofi will be tag champion in his career? He doesn’t have the
size to be main event despite his wrestling ability and WWE wasted the push he
got after he beat Orton a few years back. Double team on Swagger and a styling
leg drop by Truth. Ziggler takes control on Kofi and tags in Swagger. Corkscrew
elbow after the hot tag to Truth before Vicky causes a distraction and Swaggler
back in control. King can’t stop talking about Vicky’s dress, which is making me
a bit sick. Booker criticising Kofi for not breaking up the pin after the
double team. Truth hits the tornado DDT off the top rope on Swagger, hot tag to
the excitable Kofi and a 2 count on Ziggler. Reversal of the situation with
Truth breaking a Ziggler pin on Kofi. Trouble in paradise for the win.
Winners: Kofuth
Swaggler looked good
in this match and likely to take the titles but Kofuth pulled out the win.
Hopefully they try to seriously build the tag team division and not just keep
throwing together random teams.
Eve sends the heel tag team to confiscate anti-Johnny signs from the
audience.
WWE Divas Champion Layla vs. Beth Phoenix
Layla was surprisingly dominant early on in the match before
a nasty looking knee breaker and Beth wrapping Layla’s knee around the ring
post. World’s slowest 10 count on the outside before Layla sells the knee
injury in the middle of the ring. A horribly applied Boston crab by Beth was
followed by some soft counters by Layla to continue this unexciting and poorly
constructed match. Gorilla press by Beth into a DDT on Beth for a 2 count. Neck
breaker out of nowhere and Layla retains the title.
Winner: Layla
A great example of why
the Divas are getting worse. Layla can barely chain wrestle and I felt sorry
for Beth having to carry her throughout the match. Bring back Kharma so Beth
has someone to wrestle or at least put it on someone pretty like Kelly Kelly.
Orton interview with Striker interrupted by Jericho, who brags about
beating everybody.
World Heavyweight Championship Fatal 4-Way Match
Del Rio (ADR) was out first in a $150,000 car followed by
Jericho (J) in an expensive sparkle jacket then Orton (RKO) in only his
wrestling gear and finally Sheamus (S) with an expensive gold belt (spot the odd
one out). Main event announcement by Lillian, first time I’ve ever heard Del
Rio announced not by Ricardo, and the crowd is nuts for Orton tonight. Sheamus/Del
Rio and Orton/Jericho pair off and fight in/out of the ring. Orton and Sheamus
face off before Sheamus low bridged out and thrown into the barricade. Del
Rio/Jericho double team Orton before turning their attention to Sheamus’
shoulder. ADR and J start fighting after ADR attempts to pin RKO. J trash talks
RKO after keeping S out of the ring once again. S knocks J and RKO off the top
rope. S beats up ADR after a flying shoulder block. ADR regains the advantage with
an inziguri after Ricardo distraction. Back and forth between ADR and S before
J breaks it up. RKO power slam on J and S before elevated DDT on S. ADR puts
the cross arm breaker on RKO before J breaks it up. Attempted finishers by RKO
and S, double elevated DDT on ADR and Ricardo. Code breaker on RKO, cross arm
breaker on J turned into the walls of Jericho. S misses brogue kick and J hits
the code breaker for a 2 count. Walls on S, sitting it down before RKO to J and
ADR then brogue kick to RKO then white noise to J for the retain. Randy looks
pissed on the outside as Sheamus celebrates and Jericho remains out in the
middle of the ring.
Winner: Sheamus
I like that the
commentators spoke about the crap come back that Jericho has had. This just
proves their point: he dominates the match and still can’t pick up the win. I
am a huge Jericho fan and even I am thinking he is starting to look like a
loser. Good on Sheamus for continuing his title reign but he doesn’t come out
looking stronger: he was the one person to not dominate at any point and snuck
in for the win at the end.
Cody complains about almost having a match and bad mouths Christian:
surprise, surprise Christian changes his mind and will face Cody for the intercontinental
title.
The Miz vs. Brodus Clay
Miz trash talks Brodus and suggests he is a better dancer...
I didn’t realize the Miz had sunk this low. He does a decent thriller but out
comes Brodus, who seems to be dancing less than when he started. Miz out
powered early on and is rag tagged by Brodus. Miz reverses Brodus into the
steel post on the outside to take control. Throw from the top rope and an
earthquake for the win.
Winner: Brodus Clay
Somebody call Miz’s
momma because his career is on the skids. The dance was awful and his match was
not much better. I don’t know why he is being made to job so much because all
the respect he may have made by being WWE champion is being wasted away now.
Reks and Hawkins take some signs from the crowd: martial law according to
Cole.
Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Christian
Cody bad mouths his home town then Captain Charisma enters. Back
and forth between Christian and Cody to start the match. Cody takes control on
the outside after putting Christian into the steel steps. Cody wearing down
Christian in the ring before a superplex takes out both men. Every time
Christian mounts some offense, Cody quickly gets back in control. Tornado DDT
reversed by Cody and he hits a moonsault for a 2. Cody mouths off about not
having enough competition and gets caught by a kill switch for a new champion!
Winner: Christian
A nice welcome home
present for Christian and Cody took a good heel loss here. Cody dominated here
but Christian just held in there and pulled out the win. Hopefully these two
can have a good little feud.
Interview with CM Punk about getting the crap beaten out of him by Kane
because of Bryan. Punk imitates Vince not recognising Bryan/Punk 10 years ago. AJ
breaks up the interview and gives Punk her sexy look.
WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan
Yes! Yes! Yes! It’s clobbering time! Main event
introductions. Punk works on Bryan’s knee in the corner. Yes chant every time
Bryan lands a kick. Punk continues to work on the knee with kicks and various
submission moves. Bryan takes control on the outside by putting Punk into the
barriers. Nasty looking abdominal stretch on Punk and a pin for 2. Surfboard
submission on Punk into a dragon sleeper type hold (Punk bent like a pretzel
backwards). Fisherman’s suplex for a 2 count on Bryan. Benoit head butt from
Bryan on the top rope for a 2 count. Double cross body for a standing 10 count by
the referee and Punk takes control. Bryan elevated to the outside and a suicide
dive by Punk. Drop kick onto a flying Punk and Bryan is firing up: yes kicks to
the ribs of Punk but reversed into a finger four on Bryan. Rope break and Bryan
escapes the hold. Head kick for a close 2 count on Punk. Bryan crotched on the
top rope before a flying clothesline and a 2 count. Bryan reverses a GTS into a
roll up. Inziguri but foot on the rope saves Bryan. Macho man top rope flying elbow
but cannot make the immediate cover due to his ribs. Bryan knees into Punk’s
ribs to regain control but misses a kick. Bryan finally gets the yes lock on
Punk but he rolls it through into a pin as he taps out AFTER the 3 count.
Winner: Punk
Awesome match between
these two technicians! Reversals, submissions and a nice finish to the match as
well. Unfortunately someone had to lose and I would have preferred to see that
be CM Punk. Bryan looks like a chump once again: close but no cigar in a
championship match. I wouldn’t be surprised to see these two go at it again
because Punk did tap out in the end.
Mexican guys vs. Ryback
Goldberg entrance as per usual. This was the usual
domination of the other guy so not much to say here.
Winner: Ryback
Feed me... How about
fighting someone, who is actually decent, and then we’ll take you seriously.
John Cena vs. John Laurinaitis
Johnny is out first while Cole craps on about supporting him
to the end. Green Cena is out next. Tight body suit on Johnny is laughable. Cena
does some Big Show slaps on the exposed torso of Johnny. Cena is wasting too
much time here: I smell a big show rat here... on aeroplane spins... on
commentary... on a microphone... on getting a drink... using a fire
extinguisher... taking out the trash... but Johnny starts working on Cena’s
arm. Chair shots and a 2 count on Cena. Chair style 5 knuckle shuffle is
countered with a low blow to Cena and Johnny tries to escape through the crowd.
Johnny leaves the arena but Big Show drags him back to the ring. KO punch to
Cena and Johnny picks up the win.
Winner: Big Johnny
It was a logical end
to the match with the Big Show turning heel and giving Johnny the win. Apart from
that a complete waste of time as Cena was boorish and it took 20 minutes too
long.
Overall:
A good PPV considering the lame build up. The main event was the piece
of crap it could only turn out to be but Punk/Bryan, the Fatal 4 Way and the
Tag match were good. Punk and Bryan put on a wrestling clinic and showed that
actual wrestling does draw a crowd. The Fatal 4 Way was exciting but the outcome
was a bad call and does nothing to help push Sheamus or Del Rio. Finally, the
tag team match had 4 good guys going at it. The Divas match was shocking as was
the battle royal and Brodus Clay but none of this is new.
